Top 5 Reasons You Should Keep Going to 12-Step Meetings

Key Takeaways

• Research published by NIH identifies "not going to meetings" as a clinical warning sign of emotional relapse.¹
• Meetings can reduce the isolation that often comes before relapse. Staying connected to a recovery community can help balance out self-destructive thinking.
• Showing up helps newcomers find support on their first day. It also gives you a way to give back to the people who supported you.
• Regular attendance can help you build relationships that support long-term recovery. It can also help others notice warning signs you might miss.

There are many reasons to keep going to Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings throughout your recovery. Here are a few reasons to stay involved in the 12-Step community, in no particular order.

1. You Help Make Sure a Newcomer Doesn't Walk Into an Empty Room

Think back to your very first meeting, or the moments right before it. You may have felt baffled, frightened, angry, desperate, lonely, hopeless, or confused. And still, you showed up.

You walked into that room, maybe after a couple of drive-by or walk-by passes to check it out. There were many people. Some ignored you. Some reached out. Most looked a little happier than you felt and a little more comfortable in their skin than you thought was possible.

…you felt a moment's safety, and like perhaps you could exhale, and that maybe you weren't alone.

You sat through the meeting. Maybe your first reaction was, "Oh my God, I'm home," or "This'll never work for me," or "This makes no sense." Either way, you may have felt a moment of safety. You may have felt like you could exhale, and like you weren't alone.

Now imagine going to that same first meeting and finding a dark room with nobody there. How might your experience have changed? Would you have called to find another meeting, or would you have gone home and returned to substance use?

If people showed up at your first meeting, you can repay that support by continuing to show up. Your presence can help a newcomer get the same chance you had.

2. Substance Use Can Lead to Isolation, and Meetings Can Help You Stay Connected

People often say the gazelle that gets eaten is the one outside the herd or at the edge of the herd, not the one in the middle.

Thinking patterns linked with substance use can be self-sabotaging. They might tell you that you don't have a problem, or that you no longer need meetings because things look better now.

When you're isolated, it may feel easier to convince yourself you're "fine" and no longer need support. NIH identifies "isolating" as an early warning sign of relapse.¹

…the shared experience and wisdom of the group has an opportunity to serve as a counter-balance to that delusional and self-destructive thinking.

When you share those thoughts in a meeting, the group's shared experience and wisdom can help you reality-check them and find safer options.

3. For Many People, a Higher Power Feels Most Real at Meetings

In a world that can feel violent, unfair, and random, it may feel hard to stay aware of a Higher Power. It may feel even harder to keep faith.

In a country with a lot of relative abundance and opportunity, chasing financial, professional, or romantic success can also distract you from that connection.

Meetings can make it easier to hold onto hope and humility. In that setting, you may feel less overwhelmed by doubt. You may also feel less pulled to believe you can handle everything alone.

4. Meetings Create Space for Deep Connections

Some researchers suggest that substance use concerns often connect with a lost sense of connection or never having felt connected in the first place. Meetings can help you build connection and support through relationships and community.

[Meetings] provide the chance not only to get to know others, but to truly be known by others, and both are equally important to sobriety and a sense of being connected.

Meetings give you the chance not only to get to know others but also to be known by them. Both can support sobriety and a sense of belonging.

There's a common story about a young woman in Vermont who was working toward sobriety. She went to morning meetings every day for her first year. After she took a one-year break, she stopped going to meetings and stopped calling her sponsor. She didn't drink.

One night, she sat at home in front of a roaring fire when someone knocked on her door. It was her sponsor. The sponsor came in, hugged her, sat down, and watched the fire without saying a word.

After a few minutes, the young woman stood up and picked up the tongs. She lifted a piece of wood from the middle of the fire. It glowed orange and gave off warmth, with flames dancing along its length. She set it to the side of the fireplace. It quickly turned from glowing orange to ashen gray, with no flames and no warmth. The sponsor stayed seated and kept watching the fire.

A few minutes later, the sponsor stood up, lifted the cold, ashen piece of wood, and set it back in the middle of the fire. Almost immediately, the wood began to glow again. The ashen look faded, and flames danced along its length, giving off warmth.

The sponsor put on her coat. As she walked out the door, the sponsee said, "Thank you so much for the fiery sermon. I'll see you at the meeting in the morning."

5. Meetings Can Help You Maintain Recovery and Lower Relapse Risk

People who return to meetings after a relapse often say, "I stopped going to meetings." Research published by NIH also identifies "not going to meetings" as a clinical warning sign of emotional relapse.¹ Meetings can also give you chances to be of service, which can support a sense of purpose and belonging. Joining a self-help group may improve your chances of long-term recovery.¹

Going to meetings regularly, and often to the same meetings, can help you get to know others and let them get to know you. Being known can make it harder to hide how you're really doing. Some people call this the "F" word: FINE (Feelings Inside Not Expressed).

You might convince yourself, or even strangers, that you're "fine." But in a meeting where people know you, others may notice changes that you might miss. They may say things like, "You don't look fine; you look like you're ready to burst into tears," or "You look terrified and cornered," or "You look like you're lying; what's going on?"

Regular attendance can help others notice warning signs that you might not see yet, or might not feel ready to talk about.

…attendance at meetings allows others to see and identify what the person in the midst of a situation may not be able to see or be willing to admit.

Meetings can also help you hear and share experience, tools, and support. They can remind you that you're not alone and that returning to substance use may create more problems.

There Is Hope for Recovery

Addiction is treatable, and a life of freedom is possible. Connect with drug and alcohol treatment centers that specialize in your specific needs, from holistic care to medication-assisted treatment. Don’t wait another day to get help; find a recovery program that works for you.