Sex addiction is characterized by intense preoccupation with sexual thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that can negatively impact your life. If you are addicted to sex, you may prioritize sex over other activities, and it may be difficult for you to control your urges and behavior. You may also notice that your behaviors escalate over time, creating an unhealthy cycle. Like other behavioral addictions, sex addiction activates the reward center of the brain, creating a craving and need for more intense experiences.
Sex addiction is a controversial and complex topic, as the DSM-5 does not have sex addiction as a clinical diagnosis. Human sexuality is a spectrum, so sex addiction is not characterized by frequency in desire. However, when your desires and behaviors cannot be controlled despite the negative consequences to yourself or others, it may be time to examine what is going on.
Causes of Sex Addiction
Although the exact causes of compulsive sexual behavior are still being researched, there are several potential causes that can contribute to the development of this addiction:
- Changes in the brain’s neural pathways
- Physical conditions that affect the brain
- Substance-use disorders
- Adverse side effect of medication
- Attachment-related trauma
- Symptoms of other mental health disorder
- Low self-esteem
How Do I Know if I Have a Sex Addiction?
If you think you may have a sex addiction, it’s important to take the time to assess your behavior and determine if it’s causing any negative consequences in your life. Some common signs of sex addiction include:
- You feel an uncontrollable urge to engage in sexual behavior, despite negative consequences
- Your desire for sex dominates your life, interfering with other activities
- Your sexual urges are often followed by overwhelming feelings of anxiety, shame, or regret
- You excessively use sexual services, watch pornography, or masturbate
- You engage in reckless, risky, or extreme sexual activity
- You feel withdrawal-like symptoms, anxiety, or depression when you are not engaging in sexual activities
- You neglect or lie to your partner or family about your sexual behaviors
- Your sexual behavior goes against your values or religious beliefs
- Your sexual behavior causes psychological distress or physical injury to others
- You are unable to stop your sexual compulsions, despite imminent harm
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s important to seek help. A mental health professional can give you a mental and physical evaluation and provide you with appropriate treatment options. They can also help you understand the underlying causes of your sex addiction and develop strategies to help you cope and manage it.
Additionally, take some time to self-reflect and be honest with yourself that you may have a problem. Acknowledging your addiction and seeking help is an important first step towards recovery. It will also help you to recognize the ways that your addiction is affecting your life and make changes to better manage it.
Questions to Ask My Provider
If you or someone you love is concerned about your sexual behaviors, initiate a conversation with your provider. Some questions to ask might include:
- What are the signs and symptoms of sex addiction?
- How do I know I have an addiction vs. a high libido?
- Could you assess my situation?
- What are my treatment options?
- How long does treatment last?
- Will I need medication?
- What lifestyle changes will be needed to manage this?
It’s essential to be honest with your provider about your situation. With their help, you can navigate the complexities of sex addiction and find treatment that fits your needs.
The Risks Associated with Sex Addiction
Living with a sex addiction can be a challenge that impacts many areas of life including your job performance and time spent with family. With all of the advancements in modern technology, social media and the internet can easily allow anyone to access sexual content. Additionally, if you spend most of your days working from home alone, ease of access and isolation can increase your risk or even worsen the problem over time and may impact your personal and professional life.
This addiction can also create a loss of trust and lack of intimacy with your partner. If you have been engaging in compulsive sexual behavior, even virtually, you may be dishonest about your actions with your partner, which can create an atmosphere of suspicion within your relationship. Family therapy or couples therapy can be extremely beneficial to help bridge the divide between you and your loved ones. Sexual behavior might be your coping mechanism if you experience low self-esteem. However, this emotional escape only provides short-term relief and often can leave you in a vicious cycle.
Treatment for Sex Addiction
Sex addiction is treatable, and your relationships can be repaired if you are willing to take the next step and accept professional help. Through treatment, you can explore the root cause of your addiction, learn how to handle triggers, gain a strong sense of self, and reclaim your sexuality. Since sex addiction often negatively affects relationships, many people benefit from residential treatment, where you’ll live on-site and receive 24/7 support without your daily triggers. If residential treatment isn’t possible for you, there are several outpatient options that can be effective in treating sex addiction:
- Outpatient program (OP) - individual or group counseling 1-2 times per week
- Intensive outpatient program (IOP) - individual or group counseling 3-5 times per week for several hours at a time
- Partial hospitalization program (PHP) - full day treatment for 5-7 days per week
- Residential treatment - usually a home-like setting, up to 90 days
- Inpatient treatment - usually a hospital-like setting, no more than 30 days
Therapies Used for Sex Addiction
Many therapists will use a combination of approaches when treating sex addiction. You’ll work with your care team to find the therapies that work best for you. Some of these approaches include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - This form of therapy helps you replace unhealthy thought patterns with positive ones by practicing behavioral skills that can help you navigate triggers.
- Motivational Interviewing - This form of therapy helps to identify and find reasons for recovery using internal motivation. You will work hand-in-hand with your counselor to create a treatment plan, making your input a large part of the process.
- Trauma-informed Therapy - This form of therapy is based on the understanding that traumatic experiences can have long-term effects on an individual’s wellbeing. This approach often involves cognitive-behavioral therapy, as well as personalized support that is sensitive to your needs.
Whether it’s through 1-on-1 treatment, a 12-Step program, or simply finding the reset button with a wellness program, it’s possible to treat sex addiction and find the right form of help for you.
How to Find Support
Aside from getting professional treatment, there are resources available to support yourself as you recover and transition home.
- Local support groups - these groups can provide face-to-face interaction, support and accountability, like Sex Addicts Anonymous
- Religious or spiritual support - seeking support from a faith community can give you a sense of purpose and motivation.
- Online resources - Many online resources provide platforms for individuals to share their experiences and offer support.
It’s important to remember that recovering from a sex addiction is a process that may require ongoing support outside formal treatment. Although the process of healing may seem daunting, it can also be gratifying, knowing that you are healing and creating a meaningful life.