The Dos and Don’ts of a Recovery Contract

Your loved one has completed a rehab program and is preparing to come home soon. You want to celebrate, but your hope feels cautious.

What will life be like now?

How can you help them re-enter your life?

What Is a Recovery Contract?

To support both yourself and your loved one in recovery, it helps to have a plan in place before they come home. That’s where a recovery contract can be useful.

A recovery contract outlines what’s expected of everyone involved. It puts in writing the expectations and boundaries that will apply while your loved one lives under your roof, along with what will happen if those expectations aren’t met.

Every family’s contract will look different, but most follow a few key guidelines.

Recovery Contract Outline

A strong recovery contract often includes five columns:

• Goals and accomplishments.
• How column one is going to happen.
• Date of completion for column one items.
• Check off here when column one items are complete, or write a new date if rescheduled.
• Consequences if column one does or does not happen

The Dos and Don’ts of Writing a Recovery Contract

To support your loved one's success in recovery, it's important to have an open and honest dialogue. Make your expectations clear, along with the consequences that will apply if agreements aren't followed. Ask for their input, and listen to any concerns or hesitations they may have.

When you’re ready to create and complete your recovery contract, keep these  dos and don’ts in mind:

The Dos

• Put it in writing. This gives more weight to the agreements than spoken words. It’s tangible. It’s something specific to refer back to when needed. It incorporates accountability for the recovering addict, which is a must.
• Make it mutual. Include your loved one in the creation of the contract. Decide on goals and completion dates together.
• Be specific. A goal of “get a job” sounds great, but is a little vague. Is a job walking the neighbor’s dog once per week for $10 ok? A few more parameters would be good to set.
• Include both positive and negative consequences. New privileges or a tangible reward can be listed in column five for the addict to receive when a goal is reached. Consequences if not reached must be severe enough to be deterrents.
• Insist on complete sobriety. This is the ultimate goal. Stick to it.

The Don’ts

• Don’t write it up and put it in front of them to sign. For it to be meaningful, it needs to be mutually agreed upon.
• Don’t rely on a verbal agreement alone. A written plan is easier to follow and reference than a general conversation about goals and consequences.
• Don’t make it overly complex. Avoid getting so bogged down in details that the contract becomes confusing. This isn’t a legal document; the goal is to support recovery and protect your family and relationships, not create loopholes.
• Don't back down on consequences. Be prepared to follow through. If the contract states the addict must move out if an agreement is broken, don’t back down. Allowing them to stay simply tells them the contract is meaningless. They know they can simply do whatever they want without repercussions.
• Don’t “allow” relapse before consequences apply. Instead, decide ahead of time what steps you’ll take if substance use returns, and focus on safety, support, and clear boundaries.

If you’re supporting a loved one in recovery and need extra guidance, Recovery.com can help. Compare treatment centers, explore levels of care, and find programs that fit your family’s needs, so you can set healthy boundaries while staying supportive.