Resources for Healing From Borderline Personality Disorder

2. DBT Card Decks

With a therapeutic deck of cards, it’s easy to integrate mental wellness into your daily routine. Each deck contains bite-sized tips and activities, founded in a specific healing modality. You might try drawing a new card every morning, and thinking about it throughout the day. Or, you can keep the deck on hand, and shuffle through it whenever you need support. This format makes recovery more accessible, even on days when you don’t speak to your therapist.

• The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Card Deck: 52 Practices to Balance Your Emotions Every Day, by Matthew McKay, Ph.D., and Jeffrey C. Wood, Psy.D.

This is a companion deck to the workbook by the same authors. It’s organized into 4 suits, which correspond to the 4 modules of DBT:³ mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. Each card describes an activity you can do to practice your DBT skills.

• The DBT Deck for Clients and Therapists: 101 Mindful Practices to Manage Distress, Regulate Emotions & Build Better Relationships, by Lane Pederson

This deck uses the same 4 modules of DBT, and it adds a 5th: Dialectics. In that suit, you’re asked to hold 2 opposing ideas in your mind at the same time. For example, one card reads: “Think about someone’s ideas or perspectives that are disagreeable to you. Now find the kernel of truth in those ideas or perspectives from that person’s vantage point. Is there a middle ground between the extremes?”

• DBT Skills-Building Card Deck for Clients and Therapists: 101 MORE Mindful Practices to Manage Distress, Regulate Emotions, and Build Better Relationships, by Lane Pederson

The second edition of Pederson’s DBT deck contains even more ideas and activities for people living with BPD.

3. Self-Help Books

If you learn best by reading, you might want to check out these books about mental health. And you don’t only have to read about borderline personality disorder. In fact, learning too much about BPD too fast can interfere with your healing process. A lot of information can be triggering, especially if it perpetuates stigma. If you’re just starting your recovery journey, they can wait. Instead, you might want to start with more practical guides to improving your daily life. And of course, if your therapist recommends you read more about BPD, there’s always more to learn.

• The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living, by Russ Harris

Written by a psychotherapist, this book is based on the principles of acceptance and commitment therapy (or ACT, pronounced like the word “act”). Harris teaches that you can live a meaningful life when you stop trying so hard to be happy. The pressure to achieve some imaginary goal can actually get in your way. You’ll also learn about mindfulness exercises, which can be especially helpful for people for people with BPD.

• Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, by Melody Beattie

There’s a difference between codependency and borderline personality disorder,⁴ but they often co-occur. According to BPD specialist Dr. Daniel Fox, ““Those with BPD are at a high likelihood to have dependency and codependent traits.” This book is considered the gold standard for recovery from codependency. But it’s rooted in the principles of 12-Step recovery, which aren’t a great fit for everyone. Specifically, the author writes from a spiritual perspective, often referencing a Christian higher power. The practical tools in this text might still be helpful, even if you don’t share those beliefs.

4. Positive Media Representation of Borderline Personality Disorder

It can be hard to find respectful representations of people with borderline. And there are all too many movie villains who exhibit BPD symptoms. When you’re entering recovery, it’s best to avoid these harmful narratives. Fortunately, there are a few examples of main characters who are actively trying to heal from this serious condition.

• Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, created by Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna

Don’t let the title fool you. In fact, the writers use it as a tool to highlight the stigma against BPD. The main character, Rebecca Bunch, often talks about how hurtful it is to be referred to this way. The series begins before her diagnosis, and follows her through a mental health crisis and early recovery. Critics agree that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a deeply empathetic look at life with borderline personality disorder. This is a fictional portrayal of BPD, and it certainly won’t resonate with everyone. (Especially if you don’t like musical theater.)

• The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating, by Kiera Van Gelder

In her memoir, Gelder fearlessly confronts some common experiences of people with BPD. First, she describes the instability of life before her diagnosis. Her healing journey is non-linear, with bouts of therapy, remission, and relapse. Her self-compassion may be inspiring for people just starting to think about recovery.

5. Finding the Right Therapist

Therapy is an essential part of healing from many mental illnesses. Borderline is no exception. And since BPD is often related to childhood trauma,⁵ healing can be complex. While you’re learning new skills, you may also have to work through painful memories. But with the right support, healing can be empowering—and even joyful.

Not every therapist is qualified to treat people with BPD. If you’re just getting started, look for a provider with experience in some of these areas:

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is an extremely common way to treat borderline personality disorder. Classic DBT combines group and individual sessions. But a therapist might be trained in these techniques even if they only offer 1:1 therapy.
• Mindfulness can be very helpful for people healing from BPD. In fact, DBT is based on the principles of buddhism.
• Trauma-informed care is designed to treat people with PTSD, c-PTSD, or just a history of trauma. Since there’s so much overlap between BPD and trauma, this approach might be a good fit for people with this condition.

Living Well, With BPD

If you have BPD, it’s important to take your recovery seriously. With the right support, you can absolutely go into remission. And you can go on to live a full and meaningful life. In time, the criteria for this diagnosis might not even fit you any more.

But healing isn’t simple. And a lot of your work in therapy will center around learning to accept contradictions. One of these is: you are doing your best, and you can learn to do better. Living well is hard work, but it’s worth it. And there are plenty of resources to help you get started.

Reach out to a rehab center that treats BPD to learn more about their types of therapy, pricing options, aftercare programs, and more.

Reviewed by Rajnandini Rathod

1. Kulkarni, J., & Walker, P. (n.d.). We need to treat borderline personality disorder for what it really is – a response to trauma. The Conversation. Retrieved September 23, 2022, from https://theconversation.com/we-need-to-treat-borderline-personality-disorder-for-what-it-really-is-a-response-to-trauma-115549 [↩]
2. Biskin, R. S., & Paris, J. (2012). Diagnosing borderline personality disorder. CMAJ : Canadian Medical Association Journal, 184(16), 1789–1794. https://doi.org/10.1503/cmaj.090618 [↩]
3. Biskin, R. S. (2015). The lifetime course of borderline personality disorder. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. Revue Canadienne de Psychiatrie, 60(7), 303–308. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4500179/ [↩] [↩]
4. Dependency, codependency, and bpd(Borderline personality disorder). (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW1_8pBmkXE [↩]
5. Bozzatello, P., Rocca, P., Baldassarri, L., Bosia, M., & Bellino, S. (2021). The role of trauma in early onset borderline personality disorder: A biopsychosocial perspective. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 12. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.721361 [↩]