Pathological Liar: What You Need to Know and How to Protect Yourself

Pathological lying is a long-term pattern of compulsive lying that often seems to have no immediate or apparent reason.¹ Unlike how most people tell a lie or two here or there, those who struggle with pathological lying habitually tell falsehoods that are extreme, unnecessary, and sometimes even harmful to themselves or others.²

While pathological lying is a serious psychological problem, it is not currently recognized as its own diagnosable condition by professionals.³ Instead, it remains a common feature of other diagnosable conditions (particularly those involving impaired self-regulation, distorted self-image, or manipulative behavior).³ Understanding how pathological lying occurs and why can allow others to better recognize it and provide meaningful support.

Defining Pathological Lying

Pathological lying is a serious form of compulsive lying that involves telling falsehoods that are elaborate, complex, and highly disproportionate to the actual truth. Generally speaking, most people tell the occasional lie for some type of gain, such as to avoid a consequence or to protect someone else’s feelings.⁴ And while those who struggle with pathological lying also tell lies for those very same reasons, they also compulsively tell lies that have no merit, as well.⁵

Signs Associated with Pathological Lying

As previously mentioned, pathological liars differ from those who lie on occasion and/or for a specific reason. Some signs of a pathological liar can include the following:⁶

• Telling lies aimlessly and about several different topics
• Telling lies about minor events
• Not fearing being caught lying
• Experiencing a rush when lying goes undetected
• Continuing to lie despite being faced with the truth

While engaging in pathological lying, these individuals may do things such as:6

• Dramatize or glamorize stories.
• Make changes to their stories.
• Avoid questions that poke holes in their stories.
• Provide vague answers to others’ questions.
• Share in-depth details no one asked for.

Mental Health and Related Disorders

Pathological lying is not identified as an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), however, as previously mentioned, is a common trait found within the criteria of several other diagnosable mental disorders.

Pathological lying is commonly seen in those with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), where lying is used to exploit or manipulate without remorse, and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), where individuals may lie to boost their self-image or gain admiration.^7,8 It can also occur in those with borderline personality disorder (BPD), where lies may be driven by emotional instability or fear of abandonment.⁹

The Damage to Relationships

Being close to someone who struggles with pathological lying, whether as a partner, family member, or friend, can be deeply painful. Trust is often broken, and it becomes difficult to tell when they are being truthful. The emotional toll can lead to anxiety, confusion, and even complex trauma.

In some cases, someone who pathologically lies may also gaslight others, making them doubt their own memories and perceptions.10 This is especially true if the person uses their lies to control or manipulate those around them. Long-term exposure to pathological lying can harm not only the relationship, but the physical and mental wellbeing of those affected, too.

Comparing Types of Lying

It is helpful to understand the difference between pathological lying, habitual lying, and everyday white lies. While habitual liars may lie often to get out of trouble or to look better, pathological liars lie more compulsively and often without apparent reason. A white lie, like telling someone you like their haircut even if you don’t, is usually harmless and said with good intent.

Pathological lying, on the other hand, involves larger, more harmful untruths that serve no clear purpose and may spiral out of control. Recognizing these types of lying can help mental health professionals make informed assessments in therapy or counseling.

The assessment process might include clinical interviews, psychological testing, and input from people close to the individual. Getting an accurate picture is essential before beginning any form of psychotherapy or other treatment.

Treatment and Therapy Options

Treatment for pathological lying can involve several forms of therapeutic modalities, including individual psychotherapy. Conducted in a one-on-one setting, individual therapy can help individuals begin to identify and address the issues closely tied to their continued maladaptive behaviors. One popular approach, known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals recognize and change the thoughts and behaviors that contribute to their pathological lying. In one-on-one therapy, individuals may work with a therapist to manage underlying emotional issues such as low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, anxiety, or a need for control and attention.

When someone’s pathological lying is connected to a broader mental health disorder, like narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder, the primary mental health condition will be addressed with appropriate therapeutic treatment, which, in turn, will help reduce pathological lying behavior.

Couples therapy may also help uncover whether the pathological liar is willing and able to take responsibility for their behavior. If the lying stems from a diagnosable mental health disorder, part of therapy might include education on that condition and how both partners can manage it together.

In some cases, individual therapy is recommended alongside couples counseling to support deeper personal growth and reduce defensiveness or blame. Long-term success depends on the liar's willingness to confront their behavior, the couple’s commitment to healing, and the presence of empathy, remorse, and consistent effort toward change.

Setting Boundaries and Protecting Yourself

When someone in your life—whether a partner, friend, loved one or other family member—is a pathological liar, it’s essential to set clear boundaries and protect your own mental health and emotional well-being. While compassion can be important, it should not come at the cost of your wellness or sense of safety.

The first step is to clearly recognize the behavior for what it is: repeated and harmful lying behavior that can’t be explained away by stress, forgetfulness, or occasional mistakes. Naming it—either to yourself or with the support of a mental health professional—is key to reclaiming your clarity and emotional balance.

Steps You Can Take Now

When setting boundaries, communicate your expectations directly and calmly. For example, you might say, “I need honesty in our relationship to feel safe. If that’s not something you can give, I may need to step back.” Avoid getting drawn into arguments about individual untruths, as pathological liars are often skilled at deflecting, denying, or minimizing their actions.

Instead, focus on the pattern and how it affects you. Let the person know what the consequences will be if the lying continues—whether it’s limited contact, ending certain conversations, or taking a break from the relationship. Boundaries are not punishments—they are tools to protect yourself from repeated harm.

It can also help to limit how much personal or sensitive information you share with someone who has lied to you repeatedly. This can reduce your emotional exposure and give you space to evaluate whether the relationship is still healthy for you.

In some cases, especially if the liar shows no desire to change or refuses to seek professional help, distancing yourself may be the most protective and empowering choice. Boundaries are about self-respect, not control, and maintaining them can give you the peace and emotional security that repeated falsehoods often take away.

Take Your Next Step

Pathological lying is a complex and often deeply rooted behavior that can be connected to various mental health disorders. Whether it stems from compulsive lying, personality disorders, or emotional struggles like low self-esteem, it can severely impact relationships, trust, and overall wellness.

Recognizing the signs, seeking professional help, and setting healthy boundaries are essential steps in protecting yourself and supporting a path toward honesty and healing. With awareness, compassion, and the right interventions, change is possible.

From intensive individual therapy programs to 24/7 structured support, the right solution is out there. Explore options for wellness-focused mental health treatment, trauma treatment centers, and more to find a safe space to heal. Find a mental health facility today and begin your journey toward stability and peace.