Fake it 'Til You Make It: Helpful AA Saying or Dangerous Self-Deception?

The catchphrase “fake it ’til you make it” is often associated with Alcoholics Anonymous. In the book AA to Z: An Addictionary of the 12-Step Culture, this saying is described as a “suggestion often made to newcomers who feel they can’t get the program and will go back to old behavior. The suggestion implies that if the newcomer acts according to the steps and teachings of the program, then the program will begin to work…

When used as a motivational reminder to “hang in there,” this phrase can help individuals in recovery stay strong during the early days of sobriety.

However, some people in recovery view it as a potential excuse to not fully engage in their sobriety plan. A member of a popular online AA support group posted:

“I always heard the phrase, ‘fake it ’til you make it.’ So I did. EXCEPT I took it as an excuse to not WORK the program… Looking back, I never really got sober; I just got dry. So now, as I am EARNESTLY and DESPERATELY seeking sobriety, not just dryness, I realize what that phrase really means.”

Another senior member of the online group added:

“I wish it could be reworded into something less sarcastic and closer to what you’re actually doing. ‘Do it ’til you get it,’ perhaps. It says I’m willing to put one foot in front of the other, work the program, keep coming back, go through the motions—and do that on faith even if I don’t believe it or understand it—and through this work, the belief and understanding will come.”

Even though belief in the usefulness of the phrase may differ among individuals in recovery, science actually supports a “fake it ’til you make it” attitude. Studies show that faking a more positive outlook—pretending to be happy when you’re not (“smiling through the pain”) or “power posing,” meaning taking on a strong nonverbal body posture despite not feeling confident—can move us in the direction of what we are pretending to experience.

Even though belief in the usefulness of the phrase may differ among individuals in recovery, science actually supports a “fake it 'til you make it” attitude.

Rita MiliosPsychotherapist

Reporting in the journal Psychological Science, author D.R. Carney and colleagues concluded that “power posing increased feelings of power and tolerance for risk.”

They further determined that these changes extended beyond mere thinking and feeling. They impacted participants’ physiology and subsequent behavior, producing real-world implications. They theorized that participants’ increased feelings of power and more positive outlooks likely resulted from increases in testosterone and decreases in the stress hormone cortisol.

Fake it 'Til You Make it Tips

So how do you “fake it ’til you make it” in a way that helps you benefit from this attitude, rather than letting it become an excuse for sloughing off?

Below are a few guidelines to keep the phrase in its true spirit:

1. Remember What “Faking It” is Really For

You are not “faking it” to pretend or avoid doing the work of following through on your sobriety plan. In the real spirit of this motivational prompt, commit to yourself that your “faking it” is temporary—necessary only while you build confidence and belief in yourself and your sobriety program.

2. Be Selective About Where and How You “Fake It”

Don’t use this mindset as permission to fake everything, everywhere. Instead, do your “faking it” in the context of your program. Fake interest in going to meetings; tell yourself you really want to be there. Fake interest in what group members are sharing—and truly listen to the advice and stories, especially from those with longevity in the program.

3. Fake Commitment Until Willingness Becomes Real

Fake your willingness to take action until the willingness becomes genuine. The hardest part of changing any persistent, self-defeating habit is getting yourself started—taking action. Motivation, contrary to what many people expect, does not come first. Motivation follows action; it does not precede it. Hence the Nike slogan: “Just do it!” You have to “prime the pump” through sheer willpower and commitment so you can take that first step. Then, as you gain confidence and momentum by building on that first step, motivation kicks in and carries you further forward toward your goal.

“See” Yourself Successful

Use visualization—or imagination—as a mental tool to “program” your mind for the new attitude you are striving to create. Scientific evidence supports the use of visualization, sometimes called “mental rehearsal.”

An early Harvard University study demonstrated through brain mapping that visualization of an exercise (in this case, learning to play the piano) resulted in similar brain changes and neural pathway development as real practice (on an actual piano). Harvard has been an academic leader in the study of visualization and currently offers a course on visualization through their School of Engineering and Applied Sciences.

Visualization and Transformation

Below are some Visualization Tips, adapted from my book, Tools for Transformation.

• Close your eyes and relax. Begin by taking a few deep breaths. Allow your body and mind to settle.
• Create your “mental screen." Imagine a movie screen (or a blackboard) about six inches away from your face and a couple inches above your eyes. This is your mental screen—the place where you will focus your imagery.
• Picture the future you want to create. Bring to your mental screen an image of a future circumstance you wish to create. You might see yourself six months from now living the life you hope for—sober, happy, and content—engaging in some pleasant interaction with people you love. Make the image as realistic as possible. Engage all five senses to bring it fully to life.
• Energize the image—then release it. When you have energized the image through concentrated attention, release it into the world. Intend that the image will “do its work” as you imagine it flowing out of your head and into the atmosphere.
• Repeat consistently. Repeat this exercise several times a day until you intuitively feel you have “blueprinted” it sufficiently. Then take your mind off it and assume it will manifest as you have envisioned.

Find the Support That Fits Your Recovery

You don’t need to feel fully ready or confident to begin. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is take action first and let belief follow.

If you’re ready to move forward, Recovery.com can help you find the support that makes change possible. We connect people with vetted treatment centers, recovery programs, and resources designed to support lasting recovery.

You don’t have to do this alone. Explore drug and alcohol treatment centers that meet your specific needs.