Managing Mental Health: 9 Spoon Theory Lessons to Protect Your Energy

3. Planning With Spoons in Mind

Energy management becomes an essential skill when you know your spoons are limited. Planning with spoons in mind means prioritizing tasks and making intentional choices.

Dr. Sanz explained that some days, you might start with 20 spoons, while other days you might have only 10 or even 5. Every decision—whether to cook dinner, attend a social gathering, or clean the house—draws from this limited supply.

Sometimes people will even push themselves and borrow spoons from the next day, but that’s not a sustainable strategy.

Practical tips for planning:

• List your tasks and rank them by importance.
• Budget your spoons: spend them on essentials first.
• Avoid overcommitting: it’s better to save a spoon than to run on empty.

4. The Power of Low-Barrier Self-Care

When you have few spoons, high-effort self-care isn’t always an option. Instead, focus on low-barrier self-care—tasks that require minimal energy but still support your well-being.

Some low-barrier self-care ideas shared in the episode include:

• Keeping medications and water within reach.
• Stocking snacks that don’t require preparation, like protein bars or fruit.
• Using wipes for hygiene when showering feels impossible.

Anita advised:

What we’re looking for are low energy, low-barrier self-care tasks. Things that hopefully take almost no spoons.

This approach emphasizes gentleness. You don’t need to overhaul your day—sometimes it’s enough to take your medication, eat a snack, and rest.

5. Small Wins Matter

One of the most empowering aspects of Spoon Theory is recognizing the value of small wins. In depression, monumental tasks can feel out of reach, but small steps still count.

Examples of small wins:

• Moving from the bed to the couch.
• Opening the blinds the night before so you wake to sunlight.
• Listening to a podcast or music without pressure to engage.

Terry put it simply:

You can’t ask yourself to do things with spoons that you don’t have.

Celebrate the small actions. They might not seem like much, but they are proof of resilience and forward movement.

6. Communicating Spoon Limits Improves Relationships

Spoon Theory isn’t just about managing your own expectations—it also improves how you relate to others. When friends, family, or coworkers understand that your energy is limited, it becomes easier to set boundaries without guilt.

Anita shared:

You need to be assertive and communicate that, and my husband has absolutely no problem. I’ll pick up something, not an issue.

Using spoons as a shared language can:

• Prevent misunderstandings when you decline invitations.
• Encourage support from loved ones.
• Build empathy by giving others a tangible way to understand your limits.

7. Spoon Theory Builds Self-Compassion

One of the most transformative insights from this episode is the importance of self-compassion. When you’re living with depression, it’s easy to criticize yourself for not doing more. Spoon Theory offers a kinder framework.

Terry emphasized:

If you are, you’re doing fabulous. You’re doing great. So no shaming, no blaming yourself for not doing what you could do on a day where you’ve got many, many, many more spoons.

Instead of asking, Why can’t I do more? ask yourself, Am I doing the best I can with the spoons I have today? This shift allows space for grace, understanding, and healing.

8. How Spoon Theory Connects Communities

Spoon Theory has created a global community of people who call themselves Spoonies. This identity helps people feel less alone in their struggles.

Terry observed:

Once people understand the spoon theory, they seem to understand me a little better. But I also think they live their life a little differently, too.

Being part of a community where others “get it” reduces isolation. It also helps normalize discussions about invisible illnesses, including depression.

Community benefits:

• Shared understanding and validation.
• A sense of belonging.
• Opportunities to share tips and encouragement.

9. Embracing Gradual Progress

Recovery isn’t a straight path. Spoon Theory reminds us that progress often comes in small, sustainable steps. On days when you have more spoons, you can do more. On low-spoon days, you focus on essentials.

Dr. Sanz said:

Little by little by little we start seeing the improvements. Once we get a few more spoons, which we can do if we don’t waste a bunch that we don’t have, we can do something else.

Ideas for gradual progress:

• Start with hydration and medication.
• Add gentle movement when possible.
• Progress to outdoor time or light errands as spoons increase.

Key Takeaways

• Spoon Theory is a powerful metaphor for managing limited energy and making compassionate decisions.
• Depression affects daily tasks in ways others might not see; Spoon Theory helps explain that.
• Low-barrier self-care can sustain you on tough days.
• Small wins matter. Every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
• Communicating spoon limits fosters understanding and better relationships.
• Self-compassion is essential. Ask yourself if you’re doing your best with the spoons you have.
• Community support matters. Spoonies around the world share this language and support each other.
• Progress is gradual. Healing happens step by step, spoon by spoon.

Final Thoughts

The conversation between Terry McGuire and Dr. Anita Sanz on the Giving Voice to Depression podcast offers a compassionate, relatable, and practical look at what it’s like to live with depression. Spoon Theory provides a way to make sense of the daily challenges, prioritize self-care, and communicate more effectively with others. It helps those struggling to embrace self-compassion and celebrate small victories while moving toward gradual improvement.

Whether you are living with depression, love someone who is, or simply want to understand this experience better, these insights are invaluable. Spoon Theory doesn’t solve every problem, but it gives us language, perspective, and a roadmap for navigating life with limited energy. And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us that doing our best with the spoons we have is enough—and that we’re not alone on this journey.