Reclaiming Self-Worth: 9 Powerful Lessons from a Depression Survivor’s Story

3. Medication Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Shortly after being prescribed antidepressants, Ari began experiencing suicidal thoughts—an effect that was not yet widely discussed for children on these medications.

As Ari recounts:

After taking the medication for two weeks, I had my very first suicidal thoughts. And I wasn’t scared, but I told my mother and she was scared.

That honest conversation with her mother led to immediate medical attention and a revised treatment plan.

Important reminders:

• Side effects don’t mean failure—they mean it’s time for a conversation.
• Being honest about your experience with medication is an act of self-advocacy.

4. You Can Be in Treatment Without Healing

Despite being in therapy and taking medication, Ari wasn’t on a healing journey—at least not for herself.

She candidly reflects:

I wasn’t really getting better for me. I didn’t know what getting better meant. I was just told by doctors, this is the treatment.

She goes on to say:

I had this goal that I’m gonna look better, do better, so I can go to summer camp.

It wasn’t about wellness—it was about meeting expectations.

This kind of external motivation, while common and sometimes necessary, can prevent us from identifying our own reasons to recover.

5. Trauma Deepens Depression’s Roots

At 14, Ari’s stepbrother and his girlfriend died by suicide. That loss reshaped her understanding of pain—and deepened her resolve to prevent it from touching her family again.

As she solemnly shares:

I just didn’t ever want to see what I saw happen to the family because of me. I wanted to make sure I did everything I could so that they were spared the pain, just the devastation.

She made a vow in that moment—to ask for help before she ever reached that point herself.

6. Asking for Help Can Be a Lifesaving Habit

A few years later, after a painful breakup, Ari kept that promise to herself. She told her mom she was in crisis and sought help at a more supportive facility.

For the first time, a clinician asked for her input. As Ari recalls:

This is the first helping person I can remember asking me: What do you think would make it better?

She didn’t hesitate:

I want to meet other kids like me. I want to meet people that are struggling.

That honest desire to feel seen was the start of a new direction in her care.

7. Finding Your People Changes Everything

Ari found community in an outpatient program that connected her with other teens who were also struggling with their mental health.

As she describes it:

These kids had it harder than I did… and they were still here and they’re still in this room fighting for it.

That experience gave her perspective and solidarity. Her pain no longer existed in a vacuum. She wasn’t broken—she was part of a resilient, fighting community.

8. Healing for Yourself Requires a Mental Shift

A transformative moment arrived when a therapist posed a life-changing question: “Who are you doing this for?”

Ari admits:

That was the first time I’d been faced with that question and really reflected… No, I’ve never been doing this for me.

She then makes a quiet but powerful declaration:

I was ready to at least try. I’m trying to feel like I am worthy of a life worth living.

That internal motivation didn’t erase her depression, but it shifted her reason for showing up—and that changed everything.

9. You Deserve Good Things—Because You Exist

Like many who live with depression, Ari struggled with self-worth. She believed good things had to be earned through suffering, sacrifice, or service.

As she explains:

I didn’t really believe that just because I was born, I was worthy of positive things in my life.

The journey to unlearn that belief has been ongoing, but recognizing it was a pivotal start.

10. Doing It For Yourself Doesn’t Mean Doing It By Yourself

Ari makes an important distinction about solo versus self-guided healing: “Even though I have intrinsic motivation to do this for myself… I’m still not alone with it and I can ask for help.”

She also offers a metaphor that hits home:

You need to fill your gas tank… you eventually will run out and then your car will tell you that you’ve run out.

And as Terry eloquently put it:

Doing something for ourselves… is not the same as doing it by ourselves.

You can do it for you while still leaning on others. Those aren’t opposing truths.

11. Rediscovering Yourself Takes Time and Gentleness

For Ari, healing also meant gently reintroducing herself to joy, spirituality, and creativity.

She shares:

One of the ways we can come back to ourselves is exploring things that we are passionate about and that we enjoy.

From reading to synagogue attendance to writing letters to her struggles—like one she addressed to “suicide”—Ari used journaling to recognize how much of her identity had been tied to pain.

As she reflects:

Seeing it on paper… that I was owning so much of my identity to these things and not seeing the rest of myself really helped.

Final Thoughts: You Are Worthy of Healing—Not Just Survival

This episode is a gentle but powerful reminder that healing doesn’t require perfection. It begins with curiosity, honesty, and the willingness to try.

As Dr. Anita Sanz beautifully summarized:

She came to believe that she was a good person and she was worthy of good things… not just because it would make other people feel better, but because she deserved that.

And as Terry reminded listeners:

It was for ourselves, not by ourselves.

Whether you’re surviving for others or struggling to find your reason, Ari’s story shows us that our motivation can shift. You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin. You don’t need to love yourself perfectly to believe you deserve care.

Your life matters—to others, yes. But especially to you.

Key Takeaways

Doing it for yourself doesn’t mean doing it alone. Ask for help. Accept support. Use resources.

Depression in children can appear as physical symptoms. Early attention is key.

Medications require monitoring. Side effects like suicidal ideation are serious and must be reported.

You can be compliant with treatment and still not be healing. Real change requires internal motivation.

External motivators (like family or fear) can keep you alive, but may not sustain healing.

Peer connection is powerful. Community reduces shame and builds hope.

Healing for yourself is a choice—and a process. You don’t have to fully believe it to begin.

You are more than your diagnosis. Rediscover passions and identity beyond the label.