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Memory, Mood, and Mental Health: 13 Strategies to Outsmart Depression’s Lie

Memory, Mood, and Mental Health: 13 Strategies to Outsmart Depression’s Lie
By
Terry McGuire
Published June 2nd, 2025

This article is a summary of a conversation from the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In this episode, Terry and her daughter and co-host Carly speak with mental health advocate and writer Natasha Tracy about how depression distorts and even erases our happy memories, making recovery more difficult.


1. Understand That Depression Can Literally Steal Your Memories

It’s not just in your head. Research has shown that depression can interfere with memory, particularly memories of positive experiences. This cognitive symptom is often overlooked, but it plays a powerful role in deepening depressive episodes.

As Natasha explained:

In a profound depression, it’s almost like someone has erased my memory from all of the good experiences. Or to put it another way, they’ve taken good experiences and made them feel like they were depressed, even when they weren’t.

Why it matters: When we can’t access proof that we’ve been happy before, it becomes much harder to believe we can be happy again. That absence of memory feeds hopelessness and prolongs suffering.


2. Learn the Concept of “State Memory”

Natasha explains a psychological phenomenon known as state-dependent memory: when you’re depressed, your brain better recalls other times you felt depressed. When you’re happy, you remember happier experiences.

This means:

  • Depression reinforces itself.
  • Memory becomes emotionally filtered.
  • Positive memories feel distant or even untrue.

As Natasha said:

That’s called state memory… When you’re happy it’s great… but when we’re really profoundly depressed that particular propensity is very negative.

Key takeaway: Depression distorts your sense of time and history. It tricks you into thinking you’ve always felt this way.


Explore Depression Treatment Centers

3. Talk Back to Depression

Natasha offers a powerful cognitive behavioral approach: externalize your depression and then argue with it.

She suggests imagining a split between your mind and your brain:

  • Your brain is where depression lives.
  • Your mind is your truest self, beyond the illness.

As Natasha shared:

My brain says to me, you are very depressed, you should kill yourself. But my mind says to my depression, you are lying to me. Yes, I am depressed. But the world would not be better off without me.

Practice it:

  • Name the depression.
  • Speak to it in your own voice.
  • Call out its lies and reclaim your truth.

4. Use Your Own Voice as a Lifeline

One of Natasha’s most profound strategies is to record a video to yourself when you’re not depressed. No production needed. Just talk to yourself.

As Natasha suggested:

Hello, I know you’re feeling really depressed right now… but I am sitting here on this very day, sitting in front of the camera and I’m talking to you and I am doing it while I am not depressed.

Why it helps:

  • We believe our own voice more than anyone else’s.
  • Watching ourselves in a healthy state creates visual, emotional proof of better times.

As Terry eloquently put it:

Even if where I am right now is not perfect by any means, it is so much better than where you are and you’ll get here because you’re me and I’m here.


5. Borrow the Memories of Loved Ones

Depression might block your access to good memories, but others can help you remember.

One listener, Dina Marie, contacted friends and family and asked them to write down joyful memories they shared with her. She saved these letters and rereads them during depressive episodes.

Additional ideas:

  • Ask for a voice message or photo.
  • Create a memory scrapbook.
  • Store these reminders where you’ll see them.

As Natasha said:

When your memory’s not working properly, count on other people.


6. Build a “Hope Kit” of Tangible Memories

Several guests on the podcast have suggested assembling a box of reminders that you can turn to when depression sets in.

What to include:

  • Photos of happy times
  • Concert or travel ticket stubs
  • Notes from friends
  • Mementos from places that brought you peace

Carly also created a phone album called “Happy Things” with images she finds comforting.

As Carly explained:

These are each evidence of something good about my life that right now isn’t stirring up those good feelings in me, but that’s the filter of depression, not the reality.


7. Ask Trusted People to Describe You

When depression dulls not only your memories but also your identity, ask friends to reflect your best traits back to you.

Carly once texted 12 friends asking them to share three words they’d use to describe her. She saved the responses in a note for low days.

Why it helps:

  • Reconnects you to your identity
  • Counters negative self-talk
  • Grounds you in truth from people who love you

As Carly shared:

It was something I could hold on to, to prevent myself from going under.


8. Choose Uplifting Over Depressing Stimuli

When you’re depressed, the temptation might be to match your mood with sad songs, bleak movies, or isolating behaviors. But Natasha urges listeners to do the opposite.

Swap in:

  • Music that makes you smile
  • Nature sounds or favorite movies
  • Bright, sensory-rich environments

As Natasha advised:

If you’re depressed, you don’t put yourself in further depressing situations, if at all possible.

Remember: Even a small lift matters. Tiny joys can interrupt deep spirals.


9. Accept That Hope Might Be Fragile, But It’s Still Powerful

Hope, as Natasha says, is tricky. It can feel like a risk. Especially when you’ve had treatments or strategies fail in the past.

As Natasha reflected:

You need a kernel. You need something. You need a tiny little flame inside of you that says there is hope.

But even if it’s only enough hope to feed the cat or get out of bed, it’s still real. It’s still yours.

What to hold onto:

  • Hope doesn’t need to be huge.
  • It just needs to be enough for today.

10. Remember That Depression Lies

Finally, the most essential reminder: depression lies. And it lies in your own voice.

As Natasha explained:

Depression knows the worst way to say something to you. It knows the way to hurt you the most because it lives in your brain.

The lies sound real. They sound like truth. But they are part of the illness, not your identity.

So what can you do?

  • Externalize the depression.
  • Use tools like video messages, photos, letters.
  • Practice separating your truth from the illness’ voice.

As Terry poignantly observed:

If we were watching this in some movie and there was some mad scientist doing this, we’d be like, ‘Oh, that’s a little far. Really, they can’t have their happy memories?’ But here we are.


11. Recognize How Depression Isolates You from Gratitude

Many well-meaning people remind those who are struggling to “count their blessings,” but depression blocks access to that sense of appreciation. It filters out even obvious, meaningful positives.

As Carly pointed out:

You’re reminding me of something I already know… I know that, I can’t feel that. And that can almost feel like an added level of despair.

Acknowledging this gap between knowledge and emotional access can help reduce shame and judgment.


12. Try a Shoulder-to-Shoulder Approach with Yourself

Rather than setting aside special time to record affirmations or journal, Carly suggests using small, daily moments—like a solo drive—as opportunities to connect with yourself gently and honestly.

As Carly shared:

I did it while I was in the car driving. And so… shoulder to shoulder with myself. It really felt like it was for me.

Creating space for self-compassion doesn’t have to be formal. It can be woven into everyday routines.


13. Build a Toolkit of Options That Change Over Time

Not every strategy works every time. That’s why it’s important to experiment with different supports and know that your needs may evolve.

As Terry reflected:

If you say you access A, B and C and you go, well, they’re not working this time… how many do I have to try before I get to the ‘I’ve got to call my doctor.’ But at least I recognize it as medical now.

Keep a wide variety of supports on hand: videos, notes, apps, therapy, medication, or community.


Key Takeaways

  • Depression can erase or distort memories of joy and identity.
  • Tools like letters, photos, and video messages can help reconnect to truth.
  • Speaking back to depression—verbally or mentally—is powerful.
  • Gratitude and positive thinking are inaccessible, not absent.
  • Your voice may be the most trusted voice you can hear in dark moments.

Final Thoughts

The effects of depression go far beyond sadness. As this episode with Natasha Tracy highlights, one of its most heartbreaking traits is the way it severs us from our past joy—and the possibility of future joy.

But there are ways to fight back. Whether it’s recording a message to your future self, building a collection of happy reminders, or asking loved ones to reflect the truth when you can’t see it—these tools offer a way to hold on.

And when hope feels fragile or memory fails, let this be your reminder: the joy you’ve known hasn’t vanished. It’s simply hidden. And with support, self-kindness, and time, it can be remembered again.

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