Terry McGuire is an award-winning journalist and news anchor turned mental health and hope advocate. The Giving Voice to Depression podcast that she created and cohosts has been downloaded more than 2.5 million times, and ranks in the top 1% of global podcasts.
Terry McGuire is an award-winning journalist and news anchor turned mental health and hope advocate. The Giving Voice to Depression podcast that she created and cohosts has been downloaded more than 2.5 million times, and ranks in the top 1% of global podcasts.
This article is a summary of a conversation from the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In this episode, Terry and her daughter and co-host Carly speak with mental health advocate and writer Natasha Tracy about how depression distorts and even erases our happy memories, making recovery more difficult.
It’s not just in your head. Research has shown that depression can interfere with memory, particularly memories of positive experiences. This cognitive symptom is often overlooked, but it plays a powerful role in deepening depressive episodes.
As Natasha explained:
In a profound depression, it’s almost like someone has erased my memory from all of the good experiences. Or to put it another way, they’ve taken good experiences and made them feel like they were depressed, even when they weren’t.
Why it matters: When we can’t access proof that we’ve been happy before, it becomes much harder to believe we can be happy again. That absence of memory feeds hopelessness and prolongs suffering.
Natasha explains a psychological phenomenon known as state-dependent memory: when you’re depressed, your brain better recalls other times you felt depressed. When you’re happy, you remember happier experiences.
This means:
As Natasha said:
That’s called state memory… When you’re happy it’s great… but when we’re really profoundly depressed that particular propensity is very negative.
Key takeaway: Depression distorts your sense of time and history. It tricks you into thinking you’ve always felt this way.
Natasha offers a powerful cognitive behavioral approach: externalize your depression and then argue with it.
She suggests imagining a split between your mind and your brain:
As Natasha shared:
My brain says to me, you are very depressed, you should kill yourself. But my mind says to my depression, you are lying to me. Yes, I am depressed. But the world would not be better off without me.
Practice it:
One of Natasha’s most profound strategies is to record a video to yourself when you’re not depressed. No production needed. Just talk to yourself.
As Natasha suggested:
Hello, I know you’re feeling really depressed right now… but I am sitting here on this very day, sitting in front of the camera and I’m talking to you and I am doing it while I am not depressed.
Why it helps:
As Terry eloquently put it:
Even if where I am right now is not perfect by any means, it is so much better than where you are and you’ll get here because you’re me and I’m here.
Depression might block your access to good memories, but others can help you remember.
One listener, Dina Marie, contacted friends and family and asked them to write down joyful memories they shared with her. She saved these letters and rereads them during depressive episodes.
Additional ideas:
As Natasha said:
When your memory’s not working properly, count on other people.
Several guests on the podcast have suggested assembling a box of reminders that you can turn to when depression sets in.
What to include:
Carly also created a phone album called “Happy Things” with images she finds comforting.
As Carly explained:
These are each evidence of something good about my life that right now isn’t stirring up those good feelings in me, but that’s the filter of depression, not the reality.
When depression dulls not only your memories but also your identity, ask friends to reflect your best traits back to you.
Carly once texted 12 friends asking them to share three words they’d use to describe her. She saved the responses in a note for low days.
Why it helps:
As Carly shared:
It was something I could hold on to, to prevent myself from going under.
When you’re depressed, the temptation might be to match your mood with sad songs, bleak movies, or isolating behaviors. But Natasha urges listeners to do the opposite.
Swap in:
As Natasha advised:
If you’re depressed, you don’t put yourself in further depressing situations, if at all possible.
Remember: Even a small lift matters. Tiny joys can interrupt deep spirals.
Hope, as Natasha says, is tricky. It can feel like a risk. Especially when you’ve had treatments or strategies fail in the past.
As Natasha reflected:
You need a kernel. You need something. You need a tiny little flame inside of you that says there is hope.
But even if it’s only enough hope to feed the cat or get out of bed, it’s still real. It’s still yours.
What to hold onto:
Finally, the most essential reminder: depression lies. And it lies in your own voice.
As Natasha explained:
Depression knows the worst way to say something to you. It knows the way to hurt you the most because it lives in your brain.
The lies sound real. They sound like truth. But they are part of the illness, not your identity.
So what can you do?
As Terry poignantly observed:
If we were watching this in some movie and there was some mad scientist doing this, we’d be like, ‘Oh, that’s a little far. Really, they can’t have their happy memories?’ But here we are.
Many well-meaning people remind those who are struggling to “count their blessings,” but depression blocks access to that sense of appreciation. It filters out even obvious, meaningful positives.
As Carly pointed out:
You’re reminding me of something I already know… I know that, I can’t feel that. And that can almost feel like an added level of despair.
Acknowledging this gap between knowledge and emotional access can help reduce shame and judgment.
Rather than setting aside special time to record affirmations or journal, Carly suggests using small, daily moments—like a solo drive—as opportunities to connect with yourself gently and honestly.
As Carly shared:
I did it while I was in the car driving. And so… shoulder to shoulder with myself. It really felt like it was for me.
Creating space for self-compassion doesn’t have to be formal. It can be woven into everyday routines.
Not every strategy works every time. That’s why it’s important to experiment with different supports and know that your needs may evolve.
As Terry reflected:
If you say you access A, B and C and you go, well, they’re not working this time… how many do I have to try before I get to the ‘I’ve got to call my doctor.’ But at least I recognize it as medical now.
Keep a wide variety of supports on hand: videos, notes, apps, therapy, medication, or community.
The effects of depression go far beyond sadness. As this episode with Natasha Tracy highlights, one of its most heartbreaking traits is the way it severs us from our past joy—and the possibility of future joy.
But there are ways to fight back. Whether it’s recording a message to your future self, building a collection of happy reminders, or asking loved ones to reflect the truth when you can’t see it—these tools offer a way to hold on.
And when hope feels fragile or memory fails, let this be your reminder: the joy you’ve known hasn’t vanished. It’s simply hidden. And with support, self-kindness, and time, it can be remembered again.
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