Maternal Mental Health: 9 Insights Into Depression During and After Pregnancy

3. The Birth Experience Itself Can Be Emotionally Shocking

Isabelle had envisioned a “crunchy,” spiritual birth with yoga, midwives, and natural supplements. But the intensity of childbirth left her emotionally devastated, not enlightened.

As Isabelle revealed:

Nobody told me that the spiritual experience part comes because you believe you’re going to die.

The jarring contrast between expectation and reality can lead to trauma, especially when women are not prepared for the extreme physical and emotional intensity of labor.

Expectations vs. Reality: Honest conversations about childbirth might reduce the emotional whiplash that some new parents experience. Anticipating pain, fear, and chaos as normal possibilities during birth can help parents feel less isolated if their experience doesn’t match the serene picture books.

4. Sleep Deprivation Can Trigger or Exacerbate Postpartum Depression

Isabelle experienced postpartum depression after the birth of her son, brought on largely by disrupted sleep. Her story highlights how physiological factors like sleep can dramatically worsen mental health.

As Isabelle noted:

That really messed me up.

Sleep deprivation has profound cognitive and emotional consequences. Lack of rest impairs executive function, decision-making, and emotional regulation. For new parents—especially those already managing mental illness—this can tip the balance from coping to crisis.

Helpful tips:

• Prioritize sleep support when preparing for postpartum recovery
• Accept help, even when it feels hard
• Create a realistic plan with your partner or support system
• Consider hiring overnight doulas or rotating sleep shifts when possible

5. Depression During Pregnancy Can Feel Hormonal, Not Situational

During her second pregnancy, Isabelle felt a shift almost immediately after conception. There was no external trigger—just a wave of intense, unexplainable sadness and rage.

As Isabelle described:

It was like hormonally, some kind of switch was flipped. It was like that all the time through the entire pregnancy.

This experience suggests that maternal depression is often driven by biochemical changes, not just environmental stressors. It can be especially confusing and guilt-inducing when everything “looks fine” from the outside—stable job, supportive spouse, planned pregnancy.

Important reminder: Just because you can’t explain your feelings doesn’t mean they aren’t real. Hormonal fluctuations affect mood, cognition, and even one’s sense of identity.

6. Depression Doesn’t Always Disappear—But It Can Be Managed

Isabelle has lived with recurring depression for over five years, but she’s found ways to keep it from overtaking her life. She compares it to managing diabetes: it requires ongoing effort and attention.

As Isabelle explained:

Sometimes I’ve got it very much managed… if you’re eating well and you’re exercising and maybe you’re taking your medicine every day, you can keep it in the space you want to keep it in.

Managing mental illness is often about consistency, self-awareness, and sustainable routines. It isn’t a one-time fix, but a daily practice.

Her tools include:

• Therapy (as needed)
• Affordable daycare while she exercises
• Honest conversations with friends
• Mindfulness and acceptance practices

These strategies may not eliminate depression—but they can reduce its grip.

7. External Circumstances Matter—But Depression Adds Its Own Weight

Isabelle reminds listeners that while life stressors are real, depression distorts them. Learning to hold both realities at once can be empowering.

As Isabelle put it:

You’re depressed. And so, also it feels worse than it is.

This dual awareness—the “yes, and”—helps people navigate their emotions with more self-compassion. Yes, your relationship may be hard. Yes, parenting is overwhelming. And your depression may be amplifying the negativity.

Mental reframing strategies:

• Acknowledge legitimate stressors
• Name the depressive distortion
• Ask for outside perspectives
• Practice gratitude without denying difficulty

8. Perspective Is a Lifeline in Dark Moments

Even now, Isabelle has days where she feels hopeless. But she has learned how to label those days and wait them out. That skill has saved her more times than she can count.

As Isabelle explained:

You’re having one of those days. It’s not actually real. Like it’s my reality today, but tomorrow I might feel differently.

Bridget, one of the hosts, offers a helpful strategy:

As Bridget shared:

I should write down when I’m in a good space, like a letter to myself to reframe myself and anchor myself in the reality that this is temporary, even though it feels permanent.

Developing tools to preserve perspective is critical for anyone living with recurring depression. That could include:

• Journaling positive moments
• Recording voice memos to your future self
• Keeping a list of reasons to hope
• Saving texts or photos that remind you of brighter days

Write a letter to yourself during good times to reread when depression clouds your mind.

9. Sitting With Depression Can Be More Healing Than Fighting It

In perhaps the most profound part of her interview, Isabelle describes how accepting her depression—rather than constantly trying to fix it—has helped her feel more stable.

As Isabelle reflected:

Just being in it when you’re in it and trusting that… you’re not going to be there forever.

This concept, often echoed in mindfulness practices, is about surrendering to the wave rather than being dragged under by it. Instead of resisting the pain, you allow it to pass through.

This approach fosters:

• Self-compassion
• Patience with the healing process
• Reduced shame about feeling low

It can feel counterintuitive, but letting yourself “just feel it” may reduce the suffering caused by trying to suppress or escape it.

Final Thoughts: Embracing the Full Emotional Spectrum of Motherhood

Isabelle’s story offers a much-needed mirror to countless women who feel alone in their struggle with maternal depression. Her raw honesty opens the door to more compassionate and realistic conversations around pregnancy, postpartum recovery, and identity in motherhood.

As Terry eloquently put it:

You can love your baby and you can be freaked out by it. You can love your life and you could be depressed as hell some days.

The idea that emotions must be linear or predictable is unrealistic, especially during times of such immense hormonal and life change. And yet, too many women are left feeling broken or ashamed when their experience doesn’t match the picture-perfect narrative.

As Bridget observed:

They’re actually like putting words to it in a way that is a different play on giving voice to depression that I so appreciate and value.

By giving voice to these nuanced truths, Isabelle reminds us that recovery doesn’t always mean eliminating depression. Sometimes, it means accepting it, preparing for its return, and surrounding ourselves with reminders that we are not alone.

As Isabelle said:

If we could embrace the full spectrum of our human emotions and we could just be okay with sitting in it when we’re depressed, that the depression passes faster.

Motherhood isn’t one feeling. It’s a storm of them. And there’s room for all of it.

And perhaps most important of all, there’s permission to talk about it. Because by sharing what is hard and what hurts, we not only lighten our load—we extend a lifeline to someone else quietly carrying the same weight.

Key Takeaways

• Antepartum depression is under-recognized, but it affects many pregnant people and deserves more awareness.
• Stigma intensifies during pregnancy, because society expects joy—leaving less room for emotional complexity.
• Postpartum sleep deprivation is a major, often underestimated trigger for mental health decline.
• Hormonal shifts can provoke intense emotional reactions that are not situational or logical.
• Managing depression is a lifelong practice, and support systems like therapy, friends, and exercise can help keep symptoms at bay.
• Depression can distort reality, making everything feel heavier than it is—awareness of this distortion is powerful.
• Perspective is a tool, and strategies like writing letters to your future self can help you get through hard days.
• Acceptance often heals more than resistance, and learning to sit with difficult emotions may help them pass more quickly.
• Voicing our struggles helps others feel less alone—and may be the most healing act of all.