CBT for Depression: 10 Ways to Change Your Life by Doing One Thing Differently

3. Avoid the Trap of Avoidance

Avoidance is a natural but unhelpful response to pain. Whether it’s skipping social events, ignoring responsibilities, or withdrawing emotionally, avoidance provides short-term relief but maintains depression in the long run.

As Dr. Jacobi noted:

When people are feeling like that… they engage in what we call avoidance patterns… staying away from things… But there’s no opportunity to get any good, rewarding feelings from engaging with life.

Avoidance keeps the cycle of sadness and hopelessness going. The alternative? Active coping—taking one small step toward the situation instead of away from it.

4. Engage in Active Coping Instead

Rather than retreating, CBT teaches people to try active coping strategies. This doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means asking yourself, “What can I do about this situation?”

For example:

• Instead of avoiding a teacher after failing an exam, email them to ask for help.
• Instead of canceling plans when you’re feeling low, commit to showing up for just 15 minutes.

Dr. Jacobi illustrated the contrast:

The process of being active helps me. I feel better when I’m out doing, when I am trying to improve myself or problem-solve my situation.

These shifts empower you to reclaim some agency over your life.

5. Build Your Day with Three Types of Activities

To get the most out of behavioral activation, Dr. Jacobi suggests incorporating three types of activities into your routine:

1. Routine Activities
   These are the basics—getting out of bed, showering, brushing your teeth. Dr. Jacobi explained: Activities that are more routine: getting up, taking a shower, brushing your teeth — those are maybe very basic things that we do every day. When we’re feeling well, that’s not a problem. When we’re struggling with depression, those things become very, very difficult.
2. Pleasurable Activities
   These are things you used to enjoy: music, walks, painting, baking. As Dr. Jacobi noted: We want you to re-engage in those because one of the hallmark symptoms of depression is anhedonia, a loss of pleasure in things that I used to do.
3. Valued Activities
   These connect to your core values: spending time with loved ones, volunteering, or pursuing long-term goals. Dr. Jacobi added: These are, again, things that I do that are strong values of me. So, things like relationship building — I wish I could spend more time with my kids, with my partner. It could be volunteering…

By planning one activity from each category, you create structure and purpose—even if you’re starting small.

6. Start Small and Trust the Process

When you’re deep in depression, even minor actions can feel overwhelming. That’s why the size of the action doesn’t matter—what matters is doing something.

Dr. Sanz shared:

Many times, I have asked my clients who are in a very severe depressive episode to just make a commitment to move from their bed to the couch… it’s a step that you wouldn’t think you should get a lot of credit for, but it is the beginning of making the change, of doing something different.

Don’t wait to feel motivated—act first, and let motivation follow.

As Dr. Jacobi advised:

I just want you to make a commitment to say, I’m going to try them… even though I may not feel all that much better. I’m still doing something active.

7. Support Yourself—And Let Others Support You, Too

CBT can be done on your own, but having accountability helps. Whether it’s a therapist, support group, or a friend, having someone cheer you on can provide the encouragement needed to stick with new habits.

Dr. Jacobi explained:

It is nice to have someone to support you… to cheer you on, applaud your successes. I think they can be really powerful in this process of getting well and staying well.

If you’re supporting someone else, remember that encouragement is key—but avoid enabling depressive behavior.

8. Don’t Mistake Accommodation for Support

While it’s natural to want to relieve a loved one’s pain, too much accommodation can actually prevent recovery.

As Dr. Jacobi explained:

It’s very well-intended behaviors on the part of the family to alleviate their loved one’s distress… Unfortunately, what’s happening there is, inadvertently, the loved one is really reinforcing what we would call a depressed behavior, right? The avoidance, the isolation, the not being activated.

Instead, use empathy and gentle encouragement.

I want to validate, I wanna show that I support, that I understand and empathize with your experience. Having said that, I also want to encourage activation.

9. Consider Medication as One Tool in the Toolbox

CBT is powerful, but it’s not the only approach. For some people, medication can create enough stability to begin doing the work CBT requires.

Dr. Jacobi stated:

To me, it’s another tool in the toolbox… it allows them to be able to do the behavioral activation… to engage with life.

If you need medication, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re using every resource available to fight your depression.

10. Stay Consistent—Even When It’s Hard

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to depression. What matters most is consistency—challenging your thoughts, doing helpful behaviors, leaning into support, and sticking with it long enough to see a change.

As Dr. Jacobi noted:

There’s lots of different components to getting well and staying well… there’s going to be multiple things… that lead to someone being able to manage their depression and then stay healthy.

Even on your hardest days, remember that small wins matter.

As Terry eloquently put it:

Something like a shower can sound very small, but the people who are really in it, that is a huge thing and it can shift everything.

Final Thoughts: Recovery Starts with You—Even in the Smallest Steps

One of the most powerful themes in this episode is that you don’t need to wait for a breakthrough or a burst of energy to begin healing. You don’t need to feel like doing something before you do it. You just need to do one small thing differently—and that, in itself, is progress.

As Dr. Sanz so wisely said:

Some of the most effective ways out of it is the help that you’re going to give to yourself.

CBT invites us to stop focusing only on what we feel and instead focus on what we can do. Depression tells us we’re helpless, but action—even tiny action—challenges that lie. If you showered today, replied to a text, or sat up instead of laying down, those are not insignificant acts. They are proof that you’re trying. And that matters.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And you’re not stuck forever.

This episode is a reminder that healing is often quiet, gradual, and invisible at first—but it begins with a choice: to do something different, no matter how small. Trust the process. Trust yourself. You’ve got this.

Key Takeaways

If you’re short on time, here are the core insights from this episode:

• CBT is built on a triangle of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Changing thoughts and behaviors is the most direct way to shift emotions.
• Behavioral activation is essential. Do something different—even if you don’t feel like it.
• Avoidance maintains depression. Active coping breaks the cycle and leads to more rewarding experiences.
• Three types of activities support recovery: routine, pleasurable, and valued activities.
• Start small. Even moving from your bed to the couch can be a significant first step.
• Consistency matters more than intensity. Doing a little every day leads to long-term improvement.
• Support helps—but don’t over-accommodate. Encourage activation, not isolation.
• Medication can help. It’s a tool, not a weakness.
• You don’t need to feel better to start. Starting is what helps you feel better.