Bipolar Disorder and Hope: 11 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Recovery

3. Depression Lies—Loudly and Convincingly

Depression can twist reality, convincing you of things that simply aren’t true. One of the most damaging lies it told Rebecca was that her loved ones would be better off without her.

Rebecca revealed:

I misunderstood the fact that … This is the biggest one: the fact that people did not want me around. That it would be easier for everyone, for me to just be out of the picture … that I was too much of a burden and I couldn’t get better on my own … and I couldn’t get better with doctors … I couldn’t find a good one that would actually help me or listen to me. I really just needed to let everybody go and relieve them of the burden of having me around.

Recognizing those thoughts as symptoms—not truths—is essential to healing.

4. Celebrating Wins Helps Rewire the Brain

Terry posed a thoughtful question during the episode: why do we so easily overlook our wins while obsessing over our failures?

Rebecca responded:

It’s just so much easier to believe the bad stuff when that’s all you’ve felt. It’s all your brain has been telling you for so long. Our brains are wired a little bit differently from everybody else’s — those of us that deal with bipolar disorder or major depressive disorder or things like that. It’s just, it’s a non-stop pattern that our brains are telling us that “You’re not worth it. You’re not good enough. You can’t do the same thing that everybody else can do,” and eventually you hear that so much that it’s just the easiest thing to believe.

One way Rebecca celebrated her wins was by giving away her e-book for free for a week. It reached #1 in Mental Illness and #3 in Memoirs on Amazon—reminding her just how far she had come.

5. You’re Not a Burden—Even If Your Brain Says Otherwise

One of the most important lessons from this episode is that feeling like a burden is often a symptom of depression, not a reflection of reality.

Rebecca offered this encouragement:

If you feel as if you’re a burden to someone else, try talking to them about it. I bet you any money, they’re gonna tell you you’re not the burden that you think you are.

She continued with a practical coping suggestion:

So it all comes down to positive self-talk and positive communication with the people that love you. You have to keep talking to yourself and saying, “No, this isn’t bad. I’m not failing. I’m doing okay. It’s going to be all right.” And even if you have to go minute by minute by minute, you do it that way.

6. Motivation Can Begin With Others—But Must Grow Into Wanting Life for Yourself

Rebecca acknowledged that for a long time, her only reason to keep going was her husband, Joe. One memory in particular continues to ground her in that truth.

Rebecca shared:

It takes me back to the moment that I was in the ER laying on the gurney and the doctor is working on me and Joe was standing next to the gurney, and the look on his face, not knowing what was gonna happen to me … I’ll think that could have happened to Joe. That could have been Joe. That could’ve been my family. And it will hit me out of nowhere, just “Bam! That could have been you,” you know. I’ll never forget that look on his face and I’ll never, ever put it back there again.

But she also now finds her own reasons to live:

As Rebecca said:

This is where I want to be. This is my life. I do want to be here for, you know, whatever is my next step, whatever I’m supposed to be doing with my life, and I want to be able to fulfill whatever that is.

7. Medication Alone Isn’t Enough

Medication can be a vital part of managing mental illness, but Becca learned that it’s not the full answer.

She explained:

I wanted it to be, I took the medication and it went away. And I think that’s kind of what everybody starts at that they think, I’m going to take these pills and I’m gonna be fine. I also didn’t understand all the work that I needed to do personally to figure out what it meant to be stable.

Some of the resources she uses include therapy, self-talk, peer communities, and even low-cost online courses on platforms like Udemy.

8. Learning From Others Builds Community—and Reduces Shame

By speaking out about her mental illness, Rebecca not only educates others, but also heals a part of herself.

As she noted:

When you start getting to a point where you are not only getting positive feedback, but you’re actually having people tell you that you’ve helped them in some way. that really, really feeds the positivity inside you where you learn it’s okay to not be ashamed of this anymore.

This community connection becomes both a support system and a source of purpose.

9. Self-Talk Is a Daily Practice, Not a One-Time Fix

In a blog post quoted by Terry near the end of the episode, Becca offers concrete suggestions for maintaining hope and fighting back against negativity.

As Terry read aloud:

You have to talk to yourself every single day. You have to learn how to filter out negative thoughts. Be nice to yourself. Listen to how other people talk to each other and gain perspective. Try therapy. Find yourself a good doctor. Don’t just settle. Surround yourself with good people that care about you. You’ll find your way. Just remember that you owe it to yourself to live the best life you can.

Kindness toward yourself is not indulgence—it’s essential survival.

10. Self-Care Isn’t Optional—It’s Vital

When energy is low, small tasks can feel enormous. But Becca affirms that even the simplest acts of care are meaningful.

She encouraged:

Just taking care of yourself some days is the best that you can do. And that IS the best that you can do. You know, and self-care is is a huge part of life. And if that’s all you can do is get up and take a shower and go sit on the couch and watch TV, then that is it. It’s absolutely fine. You’re taking care of yourself and that’s what matters.

11. Keep Going—Even If It’s Minute by Minute

As the episode closes, Rebecca offers heartfelt advice to anyone in the midst of a mental health crisis:

She said:

You have to be patient with yourself. You have to try to learn how to be self-aware. I know it sounds difficult, but if you give it a minute, it doesn’t take as much effort as you would think.

And she added:

That’s one thing that you have to get rid of completely is feeling that you’re a failure because you haven’t gotten to some particular stage in life. It’s something that I’m constantly trying to keep away… Remember that just taking care of yourself some days is the best that you can do.

Final Thoughts

Rebecca Lombardo’s story is raw, vulnerable, and ultimately filled with hope. Through every up and down, she’s found strength in patience, purpose in advocacy, and healing in community. Her journey underscores the truth that progress doesn’t have to be perfect to be profound.

As Terry eloquently put it:

The basis of hope is believing that things can change, that things can get better, brighter, easier to live with, that we can and will reconnect with our personal worth and value, that life will feel worth living again.

May that hope serve as a lifeline for anyone walking a similar path.