Advancing Hope, Advocacy, and Recovery with Andrea Mora

Hey you! I’m Andrea Mora, your friendly neighborhood expert in lived experience with mental illness and substance abuse, and I’d love to share some of my recovery story with you. 

Content Warning: This article includes details of a mental health crisis and self-harm.

Beginning The Journey Toward a Diagnosis

My story starts before my diagnosis, as my first mental health crisis was in 2012. In October of that year, I was hospitalized due to a severe manic episode. We didn’t know what was happening at the time, and just chalked it up to “Andreaness”. What I mean by that is, I had always been a little wild in my adult life. I loved singing karaoke, and of course that was accompanied by lots of alcohol and erratic behavior. That night, however, was a whole different ball of wax.

Essentially, I became so inebriated I couldn’t see straight. I even ordered pizza, with the most random and awful topping combinations, according to my husband. It was all fun and games and lots of “Andreaness”, until it was time for bed. I didn’t want to go to bed, as I felt on top of the world, but also very anxious. Naturally, I took 5 or 6 benzodiazepines, which ooh golly, not a good idea. In addition to all of my erratic behavior, I also experienced psychosis during this manic episode, so much so that I even licked my washing machine. Say WHAT!? I can laugh about it now, but it was truly awful to recollect at the time. 

During this mental health event, I cut my wrists, flatlined on my bathroom floor and when I was resuscitated, I ran outside completely nude, around my yard. All of this happening with my kids sleeping upstairs. My next memory is waking up in the ER with a police officer sitting in my room, never taking his eyes off me. Ultimately, my husband was given two choices: jail or the mental hospital. He chose the mental hospital as I wasn’t a criminal….yet.  

Gaining a Diagnosis, But Grappling with Mismanaged Care

I spent the weekend at the hospital, but was never assessed by a provider. I was released the following Monday afternoon, and it was never spoken of again. That is, until the next manic episode happened in 2013. In between these timeframes, I was still binge drinking, essentially self-medicating as my moods were all over the place. During this time, I was irrational, elated, euphoric, irritable and hyper-sexual, with incredibly poor decisions made with feelings like I was untouchable. It was during that extended manic episode that I received my diagnosis. It didn’t come soon enough though, as I committed a financial crime during my mania as well, which is ultimately what led me on a path to recovery.

It took over four years of being mis-medicated and mistreated by a psychiatric provider before the time would come that my life felt saved. For many, finding a provider takes too much time, and to finally get an appointment takes even longer. I was so incredibly fortunate to find a new psychiatric provider within 2 weeks of deciding I needed a second opinion for management of my illness, and that is where everything started to turn around for me. This was at the end of 2017. 

During those four terrible years after diagnosis, my drinking was out of control, I couldn’t get a good job due to my convictions, and the crappy jobs I could get I was unable to hold on to thanks to my uncontrolled Bipolar Disorder, and I had gained 90 pounds, partially due to the meds I was on and the other part due to me using food and substances to try and cope with my issues.