Thoughtful Gift Giving: Balancing Awareness and Inclusivity: Andrew Schreier

Does Stigma Impact Gift Giving?

The stigma surrounding substance use, mental health, and gambling can have a profound effect on gift-giving.  Assumptions or a lack of understanding about what may be helpful or harmful to individuals dealing with these challenges is a result of stigmas. For example, a well-intentioned gift of alcohol or lottery tickets may unintentionally trigger harmful behaviors or undermine someone’s recovery journey. Similarly, ignoring the unique needs of individuals facing mental health challenges may result in gifts that feel thoughtless or even alienating, reinforcing feelings of isolation or shame. There might also be beliefs that individuals in recovery from substance use, mental health, and recovery don’t deserve gifts because of the impact of their behavior on family members and loved ones.

One of the ways stigma manifests in gift-giving is through avoidance or discomfort. People may hesitate to address sensitive issues or ask what someone might truly need, fearing awkwardness or judgment. This reluctance can perpetuate harmful stereotypes, such as assuming that a person in recovery can “just avoid” triggers or that someone with mental health challenges doesn’t need additional support. By failing to consider the individual’s circumstances and experiences, the act of giving a gift can lose its intended purpose of fostering connection, care, and inclusion.

A Safe Space for Gift-Giving Insight

In my counseling practice, I’ve seen firsthand how thoughtful adjustments to holiday traditions foster healing and strengthen relationships. While our initial reaction to giving and receiving gifts may come with excitement, it’s often common to see how these traditions and culture around the holiday seasons have the opposite impact. I’ve worked with families, individuals, and communities to address some of the challenges outlined above.

For example:

• Supporting Recovery: One family struggled to adjust their holiday traditions after their loved one entered treatment for alcohol use disorder. They initially felt frustrated at the idea of giving up their long-standing tradition of gifting alcohol as part of a larger family tradition when relatives were over. Through open conversation, they understood that maintaining this tradition was not worth jeopardizing their loved one’s progress and identifying their ultimate goal of giving gifts. They replaced alcohol-related gifts with shared experiences; and their first one was attending a holiday concert together. The family deepened their bonds and honored their loved one’s recovery.
• Navigating Grief: In another case, a client expressed how painful it was to celebrate the holidays without their partner, who had passed away. Rather than ignoring the loss, their family honored their partner’s memory by sharing stories, cooking their favorite dish, and giving gifts that reflected their shared memories. This acknowledgment of grief brought comfort and inclusion during an otherwise difficult time.
• Addressing Financial Barriers: During a community workshop, families expressed anxiety about not being able to afford gifts for their children. Together, we explored non-material alternatives—such as handmade crafts, letters of gratitude, or creating “experience coupons” for activities like family game nights or movie marathons. These small gestures carried deep meaning without placing financial strain on the family.
• Campaign to Gift Responsibly: There are campaigns to commit to gifting responsibly.  The Gift Responsibly Campaign³ by the National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) raises awareness about the risks of gifting lottery tickets to minors. The campaign emphasizes that lottery tickets are not appropriate gifts for children, as they can contribute to unhealthy gambling behaviors later in life. By promoting thoughtful and responsible gift-giving, the initiative encourages individuals to consider the long-term impact of their choices during the holiday season. The campaign also highlights the importance of education and prevention in fostering healthy attitudes toward gambling. This example can lead others to consider thoughtful gift giving for areas like substance use, mental health, and grief.

These examples underscore an important point: mindful gift-giving doesn’t require perfection or grand gestures. It simply involves thoughtful consideration of someone’s circumstances, needs, and experiences.

General Tips for Gift-Giving Conversations

Having conversations around gift-giving can be challenging. We may be reluctant to over fear that we are dismissing someone’s excitement or enthusiasm; however, it is important that through conversation we can get to a better idea of what is best for the individuals in relation to gift giving. Start with empathy and intention when discussing gift-giving. Emphasize that the goal is not to criticize traditions but to create thoughtful, inclusive moments that support everyone. Frame the conversation as an opportunity for learning and growing together. Use language like, “This is an opportunity to make our gift-giving more meaningful for everyone.”

• Share Personal Stories and Examples
  Real-life scenarios can make the message more relatable. Share how small changes in gift-giving have positively impacted others.
• Encourage Open Conversations
  Normalize questions like:
  • “What kind of gifts do you find meaningful?”
  • “Are there gifts you’d prefer to avoid?”
    Promote curiosity and understanding rather than making assumptions.

The Solution: Strategies for Thoughtful, Inclusive Gift-Giving

Here are actionable strategies to make gift-giving more intentional, inclusive, and supportive for all individuals:

1. Avoid Triggering Gifts

• For individuals in recovery, avoid gifts related to alcohol, gambling, or other substances. Instead, focus on hobbies, shared experiences, or wellness-related items.
• Be mindful of individuals grieving a loss. Avoid gifts that unintentionally emphasize the absence of their loved one unless they are specifically chosen to honor their memory.

2. Consider Non-Material or Meaningful Alternatives

• Shared Experiences: Give gifts that focus on spending time together, such as tickets to events, a home-cooked dinner, or a nature outing.
• Personalized Gifts: Handwritten letters, photo albums, or handmade items show thoughtfulness and appreciation without relying on materialism.
• Self-Care Gifts: Journals, books, cozy blankets, candles, or wellness kits can provide comfort and support.
• Acts of Service: Offering your time—such as helping with chores, cooking meals, or offering childcare—can be an invaluable gift, especially for those under stress.

3. Acknowledge Unique Circumstances

• For individuals with financial limitations, emphasize gifts that don’t require spending. Organize traditions centered on shared time, games, or storytelling.
• For those grieving or away from family, consider thoughtful gestures like letters, care packages, or simple check-ins to let them know they are remembered and valued.
• Respect the boundaries of individuals navigating strained relationships, and create spaces where they can still feel included without pressure.

4. Foster Open Communication

• Normalize conversations about gift-giving preferences and sensitivities. Asking someone about their comfort level can prevent unintentional harm and help you choose a meaningful gift.
• Share these practices within your family, workplace, and community to encourage a broader culture of inclusivity.

Beyond the Holidays

While the conversation around thoughtful gift-giving often surfaces during the holidays, it is a relevant and meaningful practice year-round. Gift-giving is not limited to presents under a tree during the winter month holidays. It is an ongoing part of how we show care, connection, and empathy in our daily lives. Whether it’s acknowledging someone’s grief, supporting their recovery, or respecting their personal circumstances, the intention behind a gift carries far more weight than the gift itself.

As we move forward, let us approach gift-giving with the awareness that our choices have the power to uplift or unintentionally harm. By fostering a culture of thoughtful, inclusive gifting, we can transform this tradition into one that brings joy, connection, and healing for all. This holiday season and beyond, let’s commit to gifts that reflect care, understanding, and respect. Whether big or small, material or experiential, a thoughtful gift can make a lasting impact on the lives of those we love.

Mindful gifting isn’t just a seasonal practice—it’s a lifelong commitment to inclusivity and compassion.