The Connection Between Narcissism And Addiction

Narcissism can lead to addiction as a way to self-regulate and cope with shame or others’ apparent lack of admiration. Having a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) doesn’t mean you’ll automatically become addicted to something. But it can make it more likely.

If substance use has started affecting your life, you and your care team might decide on a rehab for narcissism and addiction.

What Is Narcissism?

The DSM-5¹ defines narcissistic personality disorder as a “pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy.” If someone with NPD doesn’t feel admired, they might turn to substances to cope with that pain. Here’s how narcissistic traits² might look in someone with narcissistic personality disorder. 

• They exaggerate their work or educational accomplishments. They may say they got a raise or a new job title but never did, or say they got into a prestigious college when they didn’t.
• They often monologue and seem annoyed or disinterested when you try to speak. 
• They believe they are highly special and should only associate with other people and places like them.
• They expect others to perform favors and respond to their beck and call. If you don’t, they’ll likely get upset.
• They don’t empathize with you and can’t seem to ever see things from your perspective.
• They’re inappropriately arrogant or haughty.
• They might seem jealous of your happiness and success, or assume you’re jealous of them.
• You feel like they exploit or take advantage of you.

The behaviors of your friend, coworker, loved one, or partner with narcissism may seem strangely out of place or inappropriate. They might lie for no reason other than to gain perceived admiration. They may also belittle, manipulate, or abuse others to maintain their sense of entitlement and control. 

Types of Narcissism

The 3 subtypes of narcissism are: 

• Grandiose narcissism³, which presents as overconfidence, arrogance, entitlement, and dominance in interpersonal relationships.
• Vulnerable narcissism³, which presents as hypersensitivity, a tendency to avoid all conflict, extreme defensiveness, and a hidden desire for admiration.
• Pathological narcissism⁴, which presents when vulnerable and grandiose narcissism co-occur (or happen at the same time).

Someone with any type of narcissism will need the admiration of others. If they don’t feel admired, they might turn to substances to cope with that pain. They may also use substances to regulate the intense emotions of NPD. 

The Impact of Narcissism on Interpersonal Relationships

Narcissism can strain or break relationships. Someone with narcissism will likely struggle to emphasize with others and reciprocate in relationships, which can damage the relationship. Some relationships, romantic or otherwise, eventually end for these reasons. 

But it’s not always easy to recognize narcissism in your friend, romantic partner, or coworker. People with NPD often radiate charisma and confidence at first. This can make them an attractive friend, partner, or boss. But that thin veil often lifts quickly.

In some situations, someone with NPD may emotionally, physically, or sexually abuse others in their life. This heavily impacts their ability to both make and keep healthy relationships. 

The Link Between Narcissism And Addiction

Understanding Addiction

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) defines addiction⁵ as “a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by continued use despite negative consequences, and long-lasting changes in the brain.” Someone with an addiction may use a substance, like drugs or alcohol, or have a behavior addiction like gambling, shopping, and sex. 

Addiction can happen to anyone, but some risk factors can make it more likely. These include trauma, chronic pain, genetic susceptibility (parents or other relatives with addiction), and brain injuries, among others.  

Co-Occurring Narcissism And Addiction

Co-occurring narcissism and addiction presents a unique, but manageable, challenge. If you have both, you might be more aggressive and violent². And since NPD instills a strong sense of superiority, you might not feel like anything could be wrong. The idea might even feel enraging. But addiction isn’t something you’re doing “wrong.” It’s just something you need help managing.

Both narcissism and addiction have compulsivity² in common. Someone with narcissism will also repeat their actions despite negative consequences, like losing friends. Addiction, as defined, has that same aspect.

Why Do They Co-occur?

Research suggests general functional impairment, not narcissism itself, can cause addiction⁴. But the effects of narcissism can cause a higher likelihood to drink, or use drugs, or gamble. And the more likely you are to use substances, the more likely addiction becomes.

For example, you may drink or use drugs to lift your self-esteem, which you need to keep high due to your NPD. Doing so often enough can lead to addiction. Alcohol and drugs can also enhance your perception of boring people—people who don’t offer adequate admiration or who aren’t on your level of specialness. Altered mental states can mask shame too, whether it’s shame from not being admired or guilt for needing admiration.

Social media addiction, gambling, excessive spending, and excessive working have similar effects as substance use. That’s because they provide admiration⁴ (through posting on social media or getting a big win), lift unstable self-esteem, and can cover the shame of not feeling admired. 

The Impact of Addiction on Interpersonal Relationships

Addiction can cause someone to lie, steal, and become untrustworthy. It can strain relationships even without these issues present—watching a loved one suffer never feels okay. And trying to force someone to get help may feel like a losing battle. It’s frustrating for both sides. 

The effects of addiction could also cause you to lose your job, home, and finances. The prices of drugs and alcohol might mean your finances take a hit first, which could also cause strain in your home life, especially if you’re your family’s primary earner. As your addiction worsens, your job performance may as well, resulting in job loss. 

Addiction and narcissism don’t have all the same symptoms and causes, but they do connect in some ways.