Living With a Recovering Drug Addict or Alcoholic

By understanding what's involved in living with someone in recovery from alcohol or drug use, you can be better prepared to support their healing and help reduce the risk of relapse.

If you’ve lived with a loved one struggling with substance use, you know it doesn’t just affect the person using. It impacts friends, partners, and the entire family.

The same is true for recovery. Because recovery is an ongoing process, your loved one won’t be “cured” the moment they come home from treatment.

Your support matters, and you play an important role in helping them maintain long-term progress. Below are tips for living with and supporting someone in recovery.

Importance of the Family in Recovery

Addiction can affect not only the individual but the entire family system. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) notes that an effective treatment plan addresses all of a person’s needs, not just substance use.¹ This can include:

• Mental health and medical services.
• Family-based recovery support systems.

These support systems can be critical to achieving and maintaining a stable recovery lifestyle.

Tips for Living With a Loved One in Recovery

Here are five ways family members can support a loved one recovering from drug or alcohol use. These include common challenges families face after treatment, and what you can do to address them.

1. Understand Long-Term Impacts

The consequences of substance use can affect your family for a long time. Even if your family member returns home healthier and more stable, the ripple effects may still be present.

Common Challenges After Rehab

You may face ongoing hardships such as:

• Financial difficulties.
• Health concerns.
• Relationship issues.

How to Address These Challenges

There are practical steps you can take to reduce stress:

• Meet with a financial advisor to plan short- and long-term needs. If necessary, consider a temporary loan while finances stabilize.
• Encourage regular doctor visits for your loved one. Completing rehab does not always mean health issues have resolved.
• Attend family therapy. This can help you practice open, honest communication and repair trust.

2. Get Educated and Stay Involved

In most cases, substance use significantly changes the lives of everyone close to the person struggling—often most deeply impacting the immediate family.

Many drug and alcohol treatment facilities offer education for family members on topics such as:

• How substance use affects the brain.
• How recovery works.
• How to manage stress and triggers at home.
• Family education is often key to restoring the health of the family unit.

The entire family benefits from involvement in both treatment and the recovery process. To do this, family members need to learn how to best support a loved one in recovery while also caring for themselves.

Many outpatient family therapy programs are also available. You meet with a licensed therapist who teaches intervention skills you can use at home during stressful or triggering situations. You learn communication tools and ways to express needs without blame.

3. Support a Substance-Free Home Environment

One of the most important ways families can support someone in recovery is by maintaining a substance-free home environment. Reducing exposure to triggers (especially during the first year) can make a major difference.

This is one reason some people choose inpatient rehab programs,

as it offers space away from environments associated with substance use.

Ideally, your home should be cleared of anything that could be intoxicating. If your family typically keeps alcohol or other substances for social events, it may be necessary for everyone to make a lifestyle shift to support your loved one.

4. Find New Activities

Families can support recovery by creating a lifestyle that does not revolve around substances. This often means developing new hobbies and shared activities.

Here are some ideas that support connection and wellness:

• Play a sport together.
• Ride bikes.
• Go to the movies or a play.
• Work on a garden.
• Host a potluck.
• Make crafts.
• Play card or board games.
• Go kayaking or rock-climbing.
• Plan a family vacation.
• Go for a hike or camping.
• Go to an amusement park.
• Make a bonfire.
• Try out a new restaurant.
• Visit a museum.

5. Get Support for Yourself

Just as your loved one needs support, you need support too. Many family support groups provide tools and encouragement to help loved ones cope with the emotional and physical strain that can accompany supporting someone in recovery.

Counseling can also be beneficial as you adjust to your loved one’s sobriety and changing dynamics at home. Seeking support for yourself can have an added benefit: when your loved one sees you asking for help, they may be more likely to seek out recovery support and aftercare services of their own.

Support Groups for Friends and Family

Below are a few different support groups designed for the friends and family members of recovering addicts:

• Nar-Anon. 12-Step program for family and friends of people struggling with drug use.
• Al-Anon. 12-Step program for family and friends of people struggling with alcohol use.
• Adult Children of Alcoholics. For adults raised in households impacted by alcohol use and trauma.
• Families Anonymous. For loved ones affected by substance use and behavioral addictions.
• SMART Recovery Family and Friends. Science-based support for families and friends.

Reduce Stress (For Everyone)

People in recovery may be more sensitive to stress, and stress can increase vulnerability to relapse.

Common sources of stress include:

• Family conflicts.
• Relationships.
• Work.
• School.
• Health concerns.
• Finances.

Understanding what to expect and how to offer support can help your loved one continue progressing. Offer resources such as relationship counseling, therapy, adult education, and support groups. At the same time, focus on managing your own stress.

Ways to Deal With Stress

Stress relief tools for you and your loved one can include:

• Journaling.
• Meditating.
• Exercising.
• Breathing steadily.

Rather than simply suggesting these practices, offer to do them together. Encourage communication that is open, honest, and free from blame.

Recovery requires teamwork, and your loved one doesn’t have to do it alone. At the same time, remember: you should not expect someone to behave perfectly immediately after rehab. They may need time to adjust to life outside of treatment. Your role is to foster a supportive environment that makes that adjustment easier.

Avoiding Relapse

Finally, it’s important to take action if you believe your loved one may be at risk of relapse. You don’t need to wait until relapse occurs.

If you believe your loved one is in danger of returning to substance use, take steps immediately to create a safe environment and reconnect them with support.

Warning Signs of Relapse

Below are common warning signs that someone may be at risk:

• Romanticizing past substance use.
• Reconnecting with friends from substance-using days.
• Sudden changes in attitude or behavior.
• Loss of interest in hobbies or activities.
• Withdrawal symptoms.
• Attending fewer support meetings.
• Less time spent on self-care.

What to Do if You Spot Relapse Warning Signs

If you’re concerned your loved one may relapse, you can:

• Approach them with kindness and care. Avoid blame. Express your concern honestly.
• Encourage them to contact a sponsor (if they have one). Suggest meeting or calling them.
• Suggest attending a support meeting. Encourage them to return to a recovery group.
• Encourage therapy or outpatient support. They may benefit from reconnecting with a therapist or entering an intensive outpatient program.

How to Handle a Relapse

A relapse does not mean treatment failed or that your loved one is a failure. It often means their treatment plan needs adjustment, or they may need a different approach.

Relapse rates for substance use disorder are similar to relapse rates for other chronic conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and asthma.² Returning to treatment should not be seen as failure but as an act of courage. The person recognized the risk, valued their life, and chose to seek support. Relapse can also become a learning opportunity.

It helps a person identify triggers and strengthen a prevention plan. Someone entering treatment after a relapse may feel guilt or shame, but they may also feel less anxiety because they know what to expect, and may be more determined than ever.

By understanding what’s involved in living with someone in recovery, you can be better prepared to offer support and reduce the chance of relapse.

Find Treatment Centers That Support Long-Term Recovery

Recovery is an ongoing process, and the right support can make all the difference. If your loved one needs treatment, or if you’re seeking guidance on what comes next, we can help. Use Recovery.com to find drug and alcohol treatment centers, compare programs, and take the next step toward healing today.