Resilience in Recovery From Childhood Trauma

The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences

Developmental trauma results from adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs. It can sometimes be hard to recognize these events as traumatic until years later. When you’re young, you simply haven’t had the time to encounter diverse ways of living. As a result, it’s difficult to compare your own life to “the norm.” You might take highly distressing circumstances for granted, and not fully understand the harm you experienced until after you reach adulthood.

Whether or not you can identify childhood trauma at the time, it has a lasting impact. You may develop coping mechanisms that help you survive in the short term, but get in the way of living a healthy and meaningful life as an adult. For example, many trauma survivors learn to dissociate⁹ as a way of protecting themselves from emotional pain. That strategy might help you endure parental abuse, but interfere with later romantic partnerships. The first steps toward healing are understanding what caused your symptoms, and validating your own experience.

Understanding Adversity

Childhood trauma can take many different forms. The CDC defines ACEs as “potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood¹⁰ (0-17 years),” such as abuse, neglect, and sexual assault. The list includes experiences that may not be directed toward you specifically, such as living with a person with a severe mental illness, or the loss of a parent through death or divorce.

The more different types of adversity you experienced as a child, the higher your ACE score. If you have a history of trauma in only one of the defined areas, you could be said to have a low ACE score—even if that type of trauma happened repeatedly. People with higher ACE scores are at a greater risk of ongoing health and behavioral concerns. For example, research shows that people with high scores are more vulnerable to addiction, depression, and heart disease. However, that risk is just one part of the story.

Experts caution against thinking of ACE scores as the only predictors of wellness. Jack Shonkoff, Director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, explains that “there are people with high ACE scores¹¹ who do remarkably well.” Certain protective factors, like trauma-informed therapy, may mitigate the health risks associated with trauma. And not every type of trauma has the same effect.

The Lasting Effects of Emotional Abuse

Every person grows up with a unique set of risk and protective factors for the development of mental health issues. Based on your unique combination of experiences, a traumatic event may or may not cause you to have trauma-related symptoms.¹² And it can be extremely difficult to predict exactly which experiences will have long-term effects.

Mental health professionals distinguish between traumatic experiences in a number of ways. For example, some experts categorize these events as either “big T” or “small t” traumas. Examples of big-T traumas are listed as the “exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence,” while small-t traumas may include parental neglect or humiliation.

However, these terms can be misleading. At first glance, it might sound like big-T traumas are more serious, while small-t traumas can be easily dismissed. For some patients, the exact opposite is true. Research shows that survivors of interpersonal trauma usually exhibit more severe PTSD symptoms than survivors of non-interpersonal trauma. And many types of small-t trauma are interpersonal.

“It Could Have Been Worse”

Unfortunately, it’s quite common for trauma survivors to feel guilt and shame about what happened to them. This can make it difficult to accept the magnitude of an event’s impact. And as a result, you may delay getting the help you need.

Preliminary research has found that many people minimize the effects of their trauma.¹³ More data is needed to understand why and how this happens, and how it can interfere with the recovery process. But even without that data, this tendency is widely recognized within established support systems for trauma survivors.

Sexual Assault Survivors Anonymous (SASA), for example, has published resources that describe the phases of processing trauma after sexual assault.¹⁴ In what they term the “Outward Adjustment Phase,” the survivor goes about their apparently “normal” life despite emotional dysregulation. SASA lists 5 primary coping mechanisms to watch out for during this time. The first of these is minimization, in which you might pretend “‘that ‘everything is fine’ or that ‘it could have been worse.’”

And yes, of course it could have been worse. Here you are, reading this article, with the emotional resources to think about healing. Not everyone gets this far. That doesn’t mean what happened to you was okay. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to get support while you heal. That’s true for everyone who lived through developmental trauma—even if you blame yourself, even if you feel ashamed, and even if you can’t clearly remember what happened.

The Minefield of Memories

Traumatic events can directly affect brain function¹⁵ and structure. One study found that people with PTSD may present with changes to the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. Researchers say that “these brain areas play an important role in the stress response. They also play a critical role in memory, highlighting the important interplay between memory and the traumatic stress response.”

As a result, trauma survivors may struggle to trust their own memories.¹⁶ According to experts at the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS), multiple scientific studies have “demonstrated a connection between childhood trauma and amnesia.” Some survivors repress their memories as a defense mechanism, even if it is “​​established fact that the traumatic events occurred.”

Over time, you may or may not remember the details of what happened to you. In some cases, rediscovering those memories can inspire people to begin recovery in earnest, finally seeking out the support they need. Others may never remember the specifics of their trauma, even if they’re actively engaged in therapy. Healing is always possible, whether or not you remember exactly what happened in your childhood.

Healing From Trauma You Don’t Remember

Kati Morton, LMFT, explains how it’s possible to heal from trauma even if you don’t clearly remember it.¹⁷ Even people who have repressed their worst memories are likely to have a noticeable response when confronted with triggers. Morton puts the most likely responses into 2 categories:

• With body memories, the body responds to triggering thoughts, conversations, or events with a noticeable sensation. For example, you might feel tightness in your jaw whenever you talk about your childhood.
• Emotional flashbacks can be triggered just like body memories, but may be harder to define. Instead of physically sensing pain or discomfort, you might feel an overwhelming sense of fear, sadness, anger, or any other emotion. It can be hard to tell whether these feelings are a proportionate response to your current circumstances, or a learned response to a painful repressed memory.

According to Morton, “identifying and understanding” these responses helps people “find better ways to manage them.” During treatment, your therapist can help you learn how to respond to triggers in a more effective way, without engaging in unhealthy behavior. This is especially important for people who have a history of both trauma and addiction.

Addiction and Developmental Trauma

A wealth of research links childhood trauma with addiction during adulthood.¹⁸ Multiple studies have found “extraordinarily high percentages of childhood trauma of various sorts, including physical, sexual and emotional abuse” among people with a history of substance abuse.

Perhaps because of this connection, some of the same techniques can be used to treat either or both of these diagnoses. In particular, prolonged exposure therapy can effectively treat both PTSD and addiction.¹⁹ If you’d like to address the 2 conditions at once, you might benefit from attending a rehab program for people with co-occurring disorders.

It’s also important to note that addiction itself can cause additional trauma.²⁰ If you experienced trauma as a child, this can quickly become a vicious cycle: getting triggered can make you want to take drugs, and the situations that arise because of your drug use can be even more triggering. Many people need professional support in order to break free of this pattern.

You Can Learn to Thrive

Healing from trauma isn’t easy, simple, or fast. If you remember what happened to you, those memories probably won’t just disappear. And even after completing treatment, you may continue to face triggering situations. Recovery can’t undo the past—but it can help you imagine a better future.

Learn more about programs that can help, and see reviews, therapies offered, virtual tours, and more, in our searchable directory of trauma rehabs.

Reviewed by Rajnandini Rathod

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