How to Meditate: Billy Wynne

In this article, I will provide core methods for practicing mindfulness meditation. In the first post of this series, I described the substantial evidence supporting the benefits of this tradition. In the second, I explored the definition of mindfulness meditation: the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgement. Now, it is time to get started meditating. Here’s how you do it.

Body Posture: Upright and Relaxed

The first step in establishing an appropriate posture for meditation is to anchor yourself on three points. If you are meditating on a cushion on the floor, those three points are your knees and your tailbone. If you’re in a chair, it’s your tailbone and your feet. In either case, this tripod orientation is essential to achieving the stability of your body that will support the stability of your mind. 

The most common positions for floor meditation are one of the lotus variations, the Burmese style, or the seiza posture. The quarter lotus, typical for most American meditators (including the author), involves placing one foot on top of the calf of the opposite leg and tucking the other foot underneath the opposite knee. The half lotus entails placing that first foot on top of the opposing thigh, with the opposite foot still tucked under your knee, and the full lotus is putting both feet up on the opposite thighs. If you find the lotus posture unsuitable, I encourage you to explore the other postures mentioned above or to simply sit in a firm chair. 

Despite the assumption that it is a common meditation posture, the ”criss-cross applesauce” style we learned in pre-school is not optimal for this practice. It leaves the knees “floating” up in the air and it requires a tremendous amount of core strength to keep the torso upright when seated this way. 

However you decide to sit, the most important thing is to maintain an upright posture with a straight back. To accomplish this, you might tilt your hips forward so that your lower back curves naturally inward. If you are meditating on the floor, use a meditation cushion so that your hips are raised above your knees. Other types of pillows or even folded towels can also work fine. Then, elongate your spine up through your neck and head. I find it helpful to imagine there is a small hook on the crown of my head with a string tied to it that someone is gently tugging upward. 

As for the rest of your body: relax. Another helpful visualization I often use is to imagine my spine is a coat rack, directly upright, and the rest of my body is a long coat hanging effortlessly from the rack. As you settle into your meditation posture, scan your body for areas of tightness that you might relax by breathing in your awareness of that spot and breathing out whatever tension may be there. 

With most of your body nestled into place, you can allow your hands to rest comfortably in your lap. There are a variety of ways to position your hands. The simplest and most relaxed may be to put your dominant hand on the bottom, palm up, with the other hand placed gently on top, also palm up, with the middle knuckles approximately aligned. You can allow your thumbs to rest naturally or take up the “cosmic mudra” by letting the ends of the thumbs touch each other gently. 

While some meditation traditions call for placing the hands, upturned, on top of the knees, with the thumbs touching the tips of the middle fingers, maintaining that posture for an extended period of time can place unnecessary tension on the hands, arms, and upper back. In the long run, the posture that is most comfortable and relaxed will likely best serve your meditation practice. 

Finally, we get to your noggin and all of its wonderful components. Recalling that little hook, it’s important to keep the head up rather than letting it slouch forward, back, or to the side. Your mouth should be closed with your breath flowing in and out of your nose naturally. Many meditators find it helpful to let the tip of the tongue rest against the back of the top front teeth. (This may seem specific, but I promise the question will come up if you meditate for a while!) Your eyes can be open or closed; there are strong traditions of both. Either way, you want to let your eyes be soft, not focused on any particular thing. Similarly, let your ears be soft. Sounds may arise, but you don’t need to go out and grab them.

Ok, you are all set. Now we get to the trickier part… 

Mind Posture: Attentive and At Ease

Of all of the beautiful pictures you’ve seen of people meditating on hillsides with the sunset behind them, all of that external setting and the posturing of your body only serves one purpose: focusing and easing your mind. Once you have settled into your posture and allowed your breath to begin flowing naturally, it is time to turn your attention to this fascinating place.

As I stated plainly in my prior post, please forget about the idea that meditation is about stopping your thoughts. That would be like trying to stop your heart from beating or your gums from salivating. Secreting thoughts is what the mind does. There is nothing wrong with that. Meditation helps us learn to be with our thoughts in a different way. I will come back to mindfulness of thoughts practice, specifically, in a future post. 

The primary method of mindfulness meditation and numerous other meditation practices is to simply focus your mind’s attention on the sensation of your breath. Again, without feeling the need to alter the pace or depth of your breath, locate the part of your body where you feel your breath most prominently. That might be the tip of your nose, the nasal cavity or inside the mouth, or in the chest or belly. Wherever it is, try to maintain your attention on that place and gently experience the rhythm of your breath’s movement there. With time, you might begin to notice the unique sensations of the in and out breath, as well as the moments when the breath pauses between the two. 

As you can see, this is a simple practice, but it is not easy. Very quickly, your mind will start to wander off into thoughts of what you might have for your next meal, an email you need to answer, or a dream vacation you want to plan. All of this is completely natural and will be a part of your meditation practice forever. Please don’t worry about it. 

To support maintaining your focus on the sensation of the breath, it is recommended to count your breath to yourself. There are some variations on exactly how to do this and you are invited to explore the approach that works best for you. A common technique is to simply treat each full breath (both the in and the out) as one count. Many find it easiest to “mentally verbalize” the number during the full length of the outbreath. In other words, I breathe in all the way and then, in my mind, it’s “oooooone” as I breathe out. Then I breathe in again and, as I start to exhale, it’s “twwwwwwwwwwwo.” And so on. 

If you make it to ten without wandering off into paragraphs of thought, which is rare for beginners, then you can begin again at one. While this device can be very handy in maintaining your focus, it’s just as important to remember that this is not a “test” or, worse, a “contest.” There are no bonus points for making it to ten and that is not the goal. The goal is to give this one breath, the one that is here with you right now, your full attention. The rest – your expectations and doubts, critiques and comparisons – you can set aside for now. Let’s treat our meditation practice as the one sanctuary in our life that might be free from all of our incessant judgment.

The Golden Rule of Gratitude

Building on that last point, I find that the most important ingredient that enables people to maintain a consistent meditation practice is not having a flexible body or highly concentrated mind. It is not fierce dedication to discover “enlightenment” or drill sergeant-like discipline. 

The essential ingredient to maintaining a consistent meditation practice is the decision to simply enjoy the experience of meditating. Here you are, on your mat or chair. You’ve made a good decision to be there, and you’ve carved out some time in your busy life to take good care of yourself. It’s a unique and rare opportunity and, if you just simply let it, it will be relaxing. Pretty soon, you will start to experience your body and mind in a different way, even if for just a passing moment at first. 

So let’s be grateful. This practice is a gift. Our life is a gift. What a joy to simply be here with it intimately for a moment. 

Next Steps

Having examined the Why, What, and How of mindfulness meditation, next we will turn to the very practical considerations of When, Where, and Who (spoiler alert: it’s you). Please tune in next time for tips for integrating this healing practice into your busy daily life.