How to Help Someone With an Eating Disorder: 5 Practical Tips

Helping a loved one with an eating disorder can feel overwhelming, but with the right knowledge and compassion, you can make a meaningful difference.

Whether the person you’re supporting is struggling with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, weight loss challenges, ARFID, body image, or a mental illness causing disordered eating behaviors, offering support starts with knowing the warning signs, being informed about professional treatment options, and promoting positive self-esteem.

These 5 practical steps can help guide you in supporting your partner, friend, or family member through their journey toward recovery:

1. Recognize the Signs and Symptoms

Understanding the signs of an eating disorder is the first step in offering meaningful support. While behaviors can vary, the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) recognizes the following behaviors as some of the common symptoms to watch for:¹

• Avoiding mealtimes
• Losing interest with food or change in eating habits
• Significant weight loss
• Excessive exercise or laxative use
• Intense fear of gaining weight
• Restricting foods or food groups

If someone exhibits these signs, it’s important to approach the situation with sensitivity and care. Remember, eating disorders are often coupled with mental health challenges, so it’s essential to be patient and avoid shaming.

2. Approach With Empathy and Compassion

The way you approach someone with an eating disorder can significantly impact their willingness to seek help.² It’s crucial to approach the conversation with empathy and compassion, making it clear that you’re concerned for their well-being.

• Choose a calm, private time to talk.
• Express your concern using “I” statements.
• Firmly state facts you have observed while avoiding blaming or criticizing their eating habits.
• Offer support rather than solutions by simply letting them know you’re there for them.

Remember, eating disorders often stem from complex mental issues or unprocessed difficult emotions. Rather than drawing attention to these internal challenges, focus on your desire to empower their ability for self-help.

3. Encourage Professional Help

Though eating disorders impact physical health, they are ultimately serious mental health conditions; eating disorder treatment requires professional intervention. Encourage your loved one to seek help from a mental health professional who specializes in eating disorders.

Here are some steps to guide them toward getting help:

• Acknowledge that your loved one may feel intense fear about taking the first step in seeking appropriate healthcare professionals.
• Ask your loved one if they’d like your help researching therapists, support groups, outpatient programs or treatment centers.
• Let them know it’s okay to take small steps, but don’t let their excuses block their path to treatment.
• Offer to attend appointments for support.

If they resist getting help, stay patient and continue to offer support. Empower their journey by regularly checking in with questions like “How are you feeling today?” or “What kind of support would be most helpful right now?” When discussing their condition, gently remind them about health concerns without becoming demanding or judgmental. Remember that being too pushy might cause your loved one to withdraw from your support completely.

Professional help provides the structure, guidance, and therapeutic environment essential for recovery. Mental health professionals specializing in eating disorders have the expertise to create personalized treatment plans and support your loved one through each stage of the healing process.

4. Support Positive Changes in Eating Habits

NEDA makes it clear that an active support network plays a crucial role in eating disorder recovery.³

Affirm your loved one as they develop a balanced relationship with food by encouraging small, manageable changes. These could include:

• Encouraging regular meals: Help them get into the habit of eating regular, balanced meals and snacks.
• Promoting variety: Encourage them to eat a wide range of foods to shift away from restricting.
• Being patient: Overcoming disordered eating behaviors takes time.

In supporting your loved one, focus on the importance of nourishment and self-care as they work to establish and maintain a healthy weight.

5. Encourage Ongoing Self-Compassion

Recovering from an eating disorder is a long-term journey, and learning self-compassion is essential for healing.⁴

Encourage your loved one to be gentle with themselves and celebrate all their successes and accomplishments, no matter how big or small. Remind your them that setbacks are a normal part of the process, and to stay focused on their progress.

You can support this process by:

• Offering words of encouragement
• Demonstrating self-kindness
• Modeling mindfulness
• Gently reminding them that they are more than their eating disorder

Remind them as often as necessary that healing is a marathon, not a sprint—and can only happen one step at a time.

Understanding the Roots of Eating Disorders

While the practical steps above provide guidance on how to support someone, knowing why eating disorders develop can deepen your empathy and effectiveness as a support person. The following risk factors help explain the complex origins of these conditions.

Biological Risk Factors

• Genetic predisposition: People with a parent or sibling who has an eating disorder are more likely to develop an eating disorder themselves.⁵
• Family mental health history: People with parents or siblings suffering from anxiety, depression, or addiction are also at increased risk of developing an eating disorder.
• Diabetes: Studies show that people with Type 1 diabetes are more likely to develop an eating disorder, typically in connection with skipping insulin injections.⁶

Behavioral Risk Factors

• Fixed mindset: Rigid thinking and difficulty switching between tasks are risk factors for developing an eating disorder.
• Perfectionist tendencies:⁷ People who generally set high expectations for themselves are at a greater risk for developing an eating disorder.
• Rashness: People who make spontaneous, rash, or impulsive decisions—especially in negative emotional states, without thinking through the outcomes or repercussions—are more likely to develop an eating disorder.⁸
• Dysregulated emotions:⁹ People who are less emotionally aware or lack tools for processing emotions are higher risk of developing an eating disorder.
• Avoidant personality traits: Some people have a pattern of avoiding things that could be stressful or uncomfortable. These people may be more likely to develop an eating disorder. Research shows that about 19% of people with restricting-type anorexia also have avoidant personality disorder.¹⁰ However, these personality traits relate more to negative mood states than to eating disorder symptoms themselves.
• Negative body perception: Many people experience feelings of body discomfort and dissatisfaction with their appearance without developing an eating disorder. However, people with an eating disorder diagnosis have more severe body image disturbance compared to the general population.¹¹
• Dieting patterns: People who restrict food, diet frequently, or focus intensely on maintaining a certain weight are more likely to develop an eating disorder.
• History of mental health disorders: Not all people who experience mental health challenges will develop an eating disorder. But many people with eating disorders have a history of mental health challenges.
• Substance use disorder: Eating disorders and substance use disorders frequently co-occur.¹²

Cultural Risk Factors

• Fat shaming: Thin-ideal messaging in media can fuel your body dissatisfaction and eating disorder risk. Direct teasing or bullying about your body can similarly trigger disordered eating patterns.
• Loneliness: Research shows you’re more likely to experience social impairment and mental health issues when struggling with an eating disorder. Your feelings of isolation can both trigger disordered eating behaviors and result from them.¹³
• Trauma: Not all people who experience trauma will develop an eating disorder. That being said, many people with eating disorders have a history of physical, emotional, or sexual trauma.¹⁴
• Nutritional knowledge gap: People who are less informed about proper nutrition are also at higher risk for eating disorders.¹⁵

Neurodivergence and Eating Disorders

Some people experience discomfort when eating due to conditions like autism or ADHD.¹⁶ As a result, these people are more likely to develop an eating disorder.

These steps can provide clarity and confidence in helping your loved one establish sustainable wellness practices amidst intense fear and potentially life-threatening conditions.

Supporting a Loved One

Offering support to a loved one with an eating disorder requires patience, compassion, dedication, and understanding. While the path to recovery can be challenging, your support can be a guiding light in their journey.

Remember, your role is to listen, encourage, and help them seek the right professional help to achieve lasting healing. The first professional you connect with may or may not be appropriate; stay committed to finding the right healthcare professional.

You Are Not Alone

Mental health struggles can feel isolating, but compassionate care is within reach. Browse our comprehensive list of inpatient mental health facilities and residential treatment centers for depression, trauma, anxiety, and more. Healing is possible; find mental health help for yourself or a loved one today.