Healing in Numbers: The Power of Group and Family Therapy in Recovery

Healing Emotional Abandonment in Dysfunctional Families

Much of Dr. Black’s work focuses on healing emotional abandonment, which can take many forms and roles. Her books and speeches cover the realities of growing up with parents with substance use disorders, abusive parents, and emotionally unavailable parents. Dr. Black defines emotional abandonment, stating,

“Emotional abandonment is when you have to hide a part of who you are in order to be acceptable.”

Emotional abandonment can skew what children believe about themselves, especially as they grow into adults. For example, they may believe showing emotion is weak or being kind to others opens them up for attack. Dr. Black adds,

“So what are these parts of self that I’m having to hide? Was it okay to make a mistake in this family? Or did you learn that if you did anything less than perfect, there was something wrong with you? Was it okay for you to have feelings?” 

As a result of emotional abandonment from abuse, emotional detachment, or absent parenting, children can turn to substances and illicit practices to find comfort and community. 

This quote poignantly addresses the deep-seated fears and insecurities many people carry into adulthood, often stemming from their familial environments. It challenges us to reflect on the parts of ourselves we’ve felt compelled to hide, questioning whether our upbringing allowed room for mistakes or if perfection was the unattainable standard. This introspection helps us understand and heal the internalized beliefs that may hinder our personal growth and emotional well-being.

Substance Use to Numb Emotional Pain

One of Dr. Black’s books, It Will Never Happen to Me!, highlights the connection between children of addiction and becoming a substance user themselves, despite seeing the effects and damage of addiction first-hand.

She notes how children of addiction almost always experience emotional abandonment, which can lead to substance use as a way to cope with the pain and manage their emotions on their own. As they get older, children of addiction and/or abusive parents may also use substances to numb painful memories and the trauma of their experiences. Even if these children, who watch their parents suffer with addiction, vow to live differently, they can end up following the same pattern. Dr. Black says, 

“If becoming addicted was an issue of willpower, children of addiction would be the last ones to become addicted. But it has nothing to do with willpower. What happens is alcohol or drugs can do something for this child that it doesn’t have to do for somebody else. It can give them a greater sense of confidence. It can give them courage. It can give them a sense of empowerment against the powerlessness in their life.”

The Role of Family Therapy and How It Works

Family therapy is an important part of treatment for all age groups, but especially young adults. Dr. Black deftly explains the importance of family therapy, anxieties and misconceptions family members may have, and how the patient and their loved ones can optimize the experience for their collective healing. 

Dr. Black notes common fears loved ones have coming into treatment:

“Anybody who walks into the treatment setting is very scared. It’s very vulnerable, in a way that is foreign to them.” … “So they’re, they don’t want to be part of a treatment program because they feel so guilty or they feel like they’re going to be blamed.”

These anxieties and fears are some of the reasons why Dr. Black and many other treatment providers focus on creating a welcoming, non-judgemental space for families to learn more about the condition their loved one has and discuss their experiences. What this reaps is:

“…the patient, the identified patient, the client themselves who goes to treatment, probably has a better chance of recovery typically when family members participate in family programming and ultimately experience their own recovery process.”

Sessions with loved ones often center on education, helping them understand each aspect of the patient’s behavior and conditions. It also helps them understand their own needs and recovery process. Dr. Black says, 

“Most of the family members, when they leave, will walk away saying, I couldn’t believe that I’d have a recovery process. I didn’t even know that I had something that I needed to recover from.”

“People Are So Resilient”

Dr. Black describes the inspiring sense of resilience each person has, and how that contributes to their recovery journey. She also describes real stories of resilience in her book Undaunted Hope. On resilience, she says, 

“So being able to recognize that some of what was survivorship is where our resiliency is today, as well. You get to keep the strengths that you created. A lot of dysfunction or a lot of trauma in your life, you get to keep the strengths. You just want to take away the rigidity of those strengths.”

Dr. Black gives an example of someone used to taking control and taking care of others. They turn out to be a natural leader, which is an inner strength, but can be over controlling and micro-manage. Loosening the reins allows this person to still lead, but be a better listener, more receptive to feedback, and gentler in how they communicate. 

Promising Trends and Innovations in Addiction Treatment

Dr. Black pointed out new trends in addiction treatment and suggestions for how providers can offer better care. One, she suggests new providers read her book Undaunted Hope for the real-life experiences highlighted in the book and stories of resilience. She adds,

“You have to know addiction. You don’t have to specialize in the field of addictive disorders. But you can not, as a mental health professional, work in this field and not know addiction and be open to the fact that that could be what it is that’s going on.”

As far as emerging trends and needs, Dr. Black says, 

“I think that we need to pay more attention to long term, what supports long term recovery and that, from an inpatient treatment standpoint, 45 days is not enough. It’s a wonderful start, but I don’t think that we’ve given credence to those next handful of months into this first couple of years.”

Dr. Black sheds light on evolving trends in addiction treatment and offers critical guidance for care providers. She emphasizes the importance of a deep understanding of addiction, regardless of a provider’s specialization, highlighting that it is essential knowledge for any mental health professional. Dr. Black also advocates for a reassessment of treatment times, pointing out that while a 45-day inpatient program is a good start, it doesn’t always support long-term recovery. She stresses the need for extending care well beyond these initial stages, which can significantly bolster recovery outcomes.

This episode was rich in information and wisdom. To find out more about this episode and Dr. Claudia Black’s work, listen to her podcast here!