Grief: A Journey to Wellness by Rebecca E. Tenzer

Grief is a profound and unapologetic experience that can have an impact on every aspect of a person’s life. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or even a significant life transition, grief affects us on physical, emotional, and mental levels. It is often thought of as purely emotional, but grief significantly affects our nervous system, mental health, and overall wellness. Understanding the way grief interacts with our nervous system sheds light on why the experience can feel overwhelming, uncontrollable at times, and highlights the importance of approaches that integrate both clinical services and holistic care.

What Is Grief?

Grief is something that everyone will experience at some point in their lifetime; however, each person’s experience will be different. Grief is a journey, often complex, where we may experience different states of emotion, physical symptoms, and even psychological stressors. Grief can affect us on a level that is sometimes even undetected, however there are signs that it is there. Grief can be debilitating for some, it can be subtle for others and sometimes we can even feel “fine.” 

Let us “de-fine” what it means to be “fine.” Although grief is ever present, some days you may be able to get through work, relationships, and daily tasks without being consumed with the thoughts of whatever you are grieving. Grief is still there, it may just show up at various times and in unexpected ways. It could be a song you hear at the grocery store, a scent you recognize while walking past a restaurant, a picture or a memory that pops into your head that could trigger an emotional response. It is not always sadness that we experience, you might find yourself smiling and or laughing while remembering a happy time with that person, place or thing. 

Grief can also be complex. We do not always grieve just those that we have loved. Complicated family dynamics, toxic relationships, or jobs, even an experience that was not pleasant can cause a confusing grief response. I always say to people when they ask, “does grief really get better with time?” Honestly, it doesn’t really get better, in my personal and professional experience, it just gets “different.”

Grief and Mental Health

Grief has a massive impact on both mental and physical health. Specifically, grief heightens emotions like sadness, loneliness and hopelessness. When someone is feeling these emotions, they can often get down, feel blue more often than not or even suffer from depression. It can be challenging to diagnose because grief and depression have such similar characteristics. Grief, like depression, can have an impact on your sleep patterns, appetite, desire to do pleasurable things and cause us to isolate in our sadness. 

Sometimes folks may even experience anxiety and panic attacks thinking about the future without their loved one, relationship, job or whatever loss they have experienced. It can be difficult to imagine what life will look like after the loss. People often begin to question things like, “where will I end up in life now?” They may reconsider an identity they once had or be fearful of future stability and security. It is quite common to have overpowering doubts about the future when coping with a significant loss. All of these characteristics we so often associate with grief can create a stressed and anxious state for both the mind and the body. 

Grief and the Nervous System

When we experience grief, it triggers a trickle effect of responses in our body, particularly within the nervous system. The nervous system is responsible for regulating bodily functions, reacting to stress, and supporting overall well-being. When we experience grief, our nervous system can become stressed, as the intense emotional response to the loss triggers the body’s “fight, flight, or freeze” response. This can lead to increased stress (and an increase in cortisol levels), anxiety, fatigue, insomnia and difficulty focusing. It is important to note that all of these symptoms of grief can profoundly affect our mental health. Grief puts a strain on the nervous system, which changes the overall functioning of our bodies, both mentally and physically.

Understanding and nurturing our nervous system is essential during times of grief. Mindfulness also plays a key role in calming the system by creating a “rest and reset” response. The impact grief has on our bodies, minds and systems helps us to understand why it can be so difficult to “move on” and why people may feel trapped in a cycle of distress, unable to experience calm or relief. Mindfulness practices like breathwork, gentle movement, sound bath, reiki and restorative activities can help us regain balance and promote healing. Taking care of our nervous system supports our ability to process and recover from loss in a healthier way.

What many people do not know is that the nervous system’s involvement in grief is central to this mental health crisis one may be experiencing. The autonomic nervous system’s continued activation during grief can prevent individuals from engaging in healthy coping mechanisms like therapy, engaging socially, moving their bodies, eating healthy and sleeping regularly. 

Sometimes, grief can encourage the use of substances to handle the impacts on the mind and body as an escape from thoughts, feelings and sensations they cannot control. Often, grief reinforces negative thoughts or emotions associated with the loss. Because the nervous system is continuously strained, it becomes difficult for individuals to return to a baseline of mental wellness, meaning that mental health interventions must account for the body’s physiological state alongside the mind’s emotional needs.

The Role of Holistic Services in Alleviating Grief

Holistic services offer unique pathways for individuals to cope with grief in a way that addresses both the body and mind, providing a comprehensive approach that alleviates the nervous system’s strain and supports mental health. Unlike traditional therapies, which may focus primarily on the mind, holistic approaches recognize the interconnectedness of the body and mind, further emphasizing the need for whole-body healing. Techniques such as mindfulness, yoga, breathwork, and Reiki directly engage the nervous system, helping to alleviate the impact of chronic stress and bringing the body back to a state of balance.

1. Mindfulness and Meditation

    Mindfulness meditation is an effective way to bring the nervous system back to equilibrium by helping individuals focus on the present moment rather than ruminating on their loss. Mindfulness techniques stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a sense of calm and allowing the body to rest. Through mindful breathing exercises and meditation, individuals can interrupt the body’s fight-or-flight response, offering relief to an overactive nervous system. 

Meditation helps in rewiring the brain’s response to grief, often associated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, reducing the intensity of negative emotions, and fostering mental resilience.

2. Yoga and Movement Therapy

Yoga, particularly restorative and gentle practices like mindful movement, plays a vital role in soothing the nervous system during grief. By emphasizing slow, mindful movements and breath, yoga can shift the nervous system to a relaxed state. Restorative poses and guided breathing ease the release of tension and stored emotions in the body, helping individuals process grief on a somatic level. 

Movement therapy in yoga encourages a reconnection with the body, disrupting the feelings of disconnection and numbness that grief often brings. Yoga’s emphasis on bodily awareness allows people to tune into their feelings without judgment, creating a safe space to process and accept their grief. 

3. Breathwork

Breathwork is a powerful tool for managing grief, as it directly impacts the nervous system by activating the parasympathetic response. Conscious breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing or 4×4 breathing, allows individuals to regulate their heart rate and calm the mind. Breathwork practices help individuals confront the overwhelming emotions associated with grief, empowering them to face their loss without feeling overwhelmed by it. Engaging in regular breathwork can help break the cycle of stress that affects the nervous system, providing relief and helping individuals feel more grounded.

4. Reiki and Energy Healing

Reiki, a form of energy healing, is particularly beneficial for those struggling with the physical symptoms of grief. This practice focuses on balancing the body’s energy, promoting relaxation, and supporting the healing process. By channeling energy into areas of tension, Reiki soothes the nervous system and helps individuals release stored emotions that might otherwise manifest as physical symptoms. 

For many, the calming nature of Reiki helps alleviate the sense of “heaviness” often described in grief, offering a pathway to find lightness and inner peace. People often refer to a Reiki session as a “massage from the inside out” due to the deep healing and stress relief they feel during and afterwards.

5. Sound Therapy

Sound therapy, including sound baths and the use of specific sound frequencies, has shown to be helpful for those experiencing grief. Sound vibrations resonate with the body and help bring about a state of calm and relaxation by slowing down brainwave activity. This shift in brainwave patterns can reduce stress, making it easier for the nervous system to disengage from the fight-or-flight response. 

Sound therapy offers a therapeutic experience that can provide a momentary release from the emotional weight of grief and help individuals find moments of peace within their pain. People often describe sound bath immersion as a full body experience, like taking a nap on the beach, surrounded by soothing sounds of waves, while in a tranquil state of peace.

Embracing a Clinical AND Holistic Path to Healing from Grief

Grief is not a condition to be “cured” from but an experience to be lived through. While traditional mental health treatments like talk therapy and medication can play essential roles, holistic services offer a complementary approach that acknowledges the profound interconnectedness of the body and mind. By focusing on the nervous system and integrating practices that promote physical and emotional balance, holistic services provide a pathway to process grief in a way that respects the complexity of the experience.

For those navigating grief, embracing both clinical intervention and holistic practices can offer a way to honor their loss without becoming overwhelmed by it. These practices help individuals reconnect with their inner strength, cultivating resilience and a renewed sense of hope. 

Grief is a transformative journey, and while it may never fully disappear, therapy with holistic services empowers individuals to move forward with compassion for themselves, honoring their loss while embracing life’s ongoing potential for healing and joy. Holistic approaches, with their focus on the nervous system and whole-body wellness, provide invaluable tools for those facing one of life’s most profound challenges, helping them find peace and balance in the wake of loss.