


Rita Milios, LCSW, "The Mind Mentor," combines the science of neuro-biology, traditional psychotherapy techniques, and spiritual growth techniques gleaned from ancient wisdom traditions to help people re-program old, entrenched, self-defeating habits and attitudes and successfully treat anxiety, depression, addictions (substances, people, things), eating issues, relationship issues, trauma, life transition issues and grief.




Rita Milios, LCSW, "The Mind Mentor," combines the science of neuro-biology, traditional psychotherapy techniques, and spiritual growth techniques gleaned from ancient wisdom traditions to help people re-program old, entrenched, self-defeating habits and attitudes and successfully treat anxiety, depression, addictions (substances, people, things), eating issues, relationship issues, trauma, life transition issues and grief.
Life in recovery is not easy. It involves making fundamental changes in all levels of your life. It means adopting new habits, restructuring your priorities and becoming “mindful” (making decisions in a logical, well-thought-out way) vs. being “mindless” and responding automatically, via habit, to environmental cues and inner urges.
Typically, we will only initiate fundamental life-altering changes when they become absolutely necessary. Recovery, in many ways, necessitates a complete “overhaul” of one’s way of life…which is a scary prospect. It requires leaving our comfort zone, where we feel safe and know what to expect.
Comfort zones rely on habits to be maintained. We are all, essentially, creatures of habit. Breakthroughs in neurobiology research and brain imaging techniques have given us tangible proof that the brain is hardwired (at a subconscious, inner level) toward habit-making and habit maintenance. So in some ways, when we try to make change happen, we are going against our natural instincts. But fortunately, our conscious, “executive” (thinking, reasoning, planning) brain areas have the power to override habituated, subconscious programming.
In order to make change happen, you have to first set your mind to it. This means creating an intention–a mental idea in support of your chosen action. When considering the choice to begin or maintain recovery, what is needed is to start with a “DUI”, which in this case, stands for a definite unwavering intention.
As you know, even with the best of intentions, we don’t always find our way to our goals. If intentions are not definite enough–if they are vague, unspecific or based on mixed feelings rather than full commitment–they may fail to lead to the next step, which involves implementing our plan and taking specific steps carry it out. To lead to success an intent must also be unwavering, with the idea/choice solidly held in mind for the long haul, and not just at the start of a change effort.
Intentions get us started, but plans can easily get sidelined if we don’t have sufficient motivation, or incentive to continue moving along our intended path. Motivation is an inner drive that encourages us to move toward a goal. It involves both inner inspiration and outer drive and ambition. This is where creating conscious, well-thought-out, determined choices comes into play. It is through the use of our brain’s executive (thinking, reasoning, planning) capacities that we “trump” the instinctual, programmed habits that so often derail recovery efforts.
Knowing the stages of change that relate to the recovery process, and where you are in that process, can help you stay the course. A study by recovery researchers J.O. Prochaska and Wayne Velicer, published in the American Journal of Health Promotion in 1997 introduced a six-stage model of change that is still widely used today.
The six stages include:
No matter where you currently are in the stages of change, keep in mind the following as you navigate your way through your change process:
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