Suzanne Warye’s 9 Candid Lessons on Sobriety, Motherhood, and Calling Out Mommy Wine Culture

3) A wake up call can be quiet and still count

Suzanne does not tell a catastrophe story, she tells a clarity story. The moment that changed everything arrived with a question no mother wants to face, could she trust herself to get her kids home safely if alcohol was invited, and with the memory she could not shake, nursing her 3 month old while in a blackout the night before. That was enough. She chose to be done.

When her husband assumed it was another next day vow, she heard her own voice and decided to make it true, then and there. She opened Audible, searched for sobriety, and started learning. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace was first, which gave her words and science she never got as a teen.

4) Mommy wine culture is a business strategy, not a wink and a meme

The glamorized reels and cute stemless glasses did not just happen. “It is not by accident that moms have been targeted by big alcohol,” Suzanne says. When a market needs new customers, it packages ethanol as empowerment and positions wine as the fix for exhaustion, anxiety, and the chaos of caregiving. That is not support, that is sales.

She has seen the mechanics up close from her earlier life as a lifestyle influencer. She shot pretty pictures for a “botanical” vodka campaign, poured the liquor down the drain, then posted the aesthetic. The image sells, the reality harms, and the mom in Wisconsin or Iowa is the collateral.

5) Sobriety is presence, not punishment

We have been taught to count down to 21 like alcohol is a rite and to treat abstaining like a timeout. Suzanne flips that script. Drinking is not a privilege you earn, she says, and sobriety is not the penalty box when you mess up. It is a pathway to being fully here, feeling your feelings, and trusting yourself again.

That trust shift is the whole point. She wanted to be the same mom at the pool party at 5 p.m. that she was at 9 a.m., the safe person anxious kids can run to, the adult who remembers the conversations and keeps the promises. That is not a downgrade in joy, it is the upgrade.

6) Romance the reality, not the martini

Ask yourself what day drinking actually gives you. Suzanne calls it like she lived it, day drinking meant you are blacked out by 7 p.m., or hungover by 7 p.m., neither is the golden hour we romanticize. Naming that gap between glossy fantasy and gritty reality helps break the spell.

She also points out how pop culture primed us. Reality TV and aspirational feeds show the party, not the price. When you compare your next day to their edited night, shame grows. The fix is not better hiding, it is better honesty, with yourself and with each other.

7) OCD, intrusive thoughts, and why thoughts are not orders

Suzanne did not know she had OCD until after becoming a mother. Intrusive thoughts flooded in, not just what is the worst that could happen, but the terrifying twist, what if I did it. Therapy and medication gave her language and distance. The key lesson for early sobriety, your thoughts are not you. There is space between what your brain offers and what you choose.

She now teaches women to treat alcohol thoughts like any other odd brain blip, notice, normalize, and do not assign them mystical meaning. You are not a bad spouse because you noticed the UPS driver is attractive, and you are not doomed to drink because your brain suggested it. There is a lot of room between thought and action, thank goodness.

8) Grief will test you, community will carry you

About a year into sobriety, Suzanne’s father died. Everyone around her was drinking, and she understood the pull to blunt the edge. Instead, she cried, she told her kids the truth about her sadness, she let her husband hold her on the closet floor, and she felt the hard thing with clarity. She calls that endurance a gift she gave herself.

Her takeaway is not moral superiority, it is honest compassion. Grief can sideline anyone. Do what you can. And also, notice the beauty that arrives when you let a feeling complete its arc. That experience convinced her she could handle social anxiety, FOMO, and nerves too. She had walked through fire, puddles would not scare her anymore.

9) Connection is the cure, not the wine

Suzanne founded The Sober Mom Life Cafe, a daily Zoom community where women raise hands, share shame, and get seen without judgment. The rule of the room is simple, tell the truth, even if your voice shakes, and keep coming back. That kind of belonging repairs the exact hurt alcohol promised to soothe.

She has watched relationships deepen too. Her husband tried a year without alcohol, then decided not to go back, her mom and brother quit as well. In sobriety you often start friendships at sixty, not at zero, because you skip small talk and step into the good stuff, the messy, human, real.

Bonus, a few practical moves Suzanne used early on

• Anchor to your truest memory, she kept returning to one clear image, that morning on the couch when she decided she was done. She revisited the feeling in her chest often, especially when her brain tried to romanticize the past.
• Make mornings the vacation, her first alcohol free trip came only three weeks in, and she discovered the joy of sunrise runs and long days she could fully feel. Make the morning your event, not the evening.
• Feed your mind, she started with This Naked Mind and kept going, audiobooks in one ear while wrangling a five year old, a two and a half year old, and a three month old. Education built healthy fear and confident language.

The bigger shift

Suzanne’s story reframes the entire cultural script. Alcohol is not a mandatory accessory to adulthood. Sobriety is not the scarlet letter you wear when you fail. For many women, especially mothers, the marketing rose colored the harm, and the solution is not tighter rules, it is a cleaner lens and a kinder room. If you crave deep connection, if moderation has become an Olympic sport, if your thoughts scare you and you want space to breathe, you are allowed to choose something different, today.

“Hop on a meeting, turn on your camera, raise your hand, even if your voice shakes.” Keep telling the truth about your doubts and your shame, and keep coming back. On the other side, there is hope and freedom.

Listen, share, reflect

If this resonated, give the full Recovery Cast episode a listen, then pass this post to someone who needs the permission slip. For a deeper dive, check out Suzanne’s book The Sober Shift, she shares her story along with other women who did not wait to lose more, calls out the myth of moderation, and names the marketing that targets moms. The book “comes out September 30,” and you can find it wherever you buy books.

Biggest lesson, you are not behind, you are right on time. Sobriety is not about what you have lost, it is about what you are ready to gain, presence, trust, connection, and a life you do not need to numb.