Beyond the Game: How Montee Ball Found Purpose in Recovery After the Roar of the Crowd

The Weight of Expectations: Societal, Familial, and Personal Pressures

Beyond the cultural backdrop, athletes often face immense pressure from various sources. Societal expectations demand peak performance and an idealized public image. Familial pressures can involve upholding a legacy or providing financial support. For Montee Ball, being a “poster child for a wonderful football club” meant constantly striving for perfection, both on and off the field. These pressures, combined with the physical toll of the sport, can create a breeding ground for depression and anxiety.

Ball admits, “I was not prepared for these pressures that were coming along. And of course, alcohol was there for my cure as I believed.” This underscores a common pattern: when individuals lack healthy coping mechanisms for stress and emotional distress, they may turn to substances as a perceived solution. Alcohol, in this context, becomes a temporary escape from the weight of expectations, offering a fleeting sense of relief or emotional numbness. This reliance, however, only serves to deepen the underlying issues.

The Stigma of Silence: Why Athletes Don’t Ask for Help

One of the most significant barriers to recovery for athletes is the pervasive stigma surrounding mental health and substance use. The “macho” culture often prevalent in sports discourages vulnerability and the expression of emotions. Athletes are conditioned to project an image of strength, resilience, and invincibility. Admitting to a struggle, whether with mental health or addiction, can feel like a sign of weakness, potentially jeopardizing their career, reputation, or standing within their team.

Ball describes his internal struggle when a coach and teammate asked if he was struggling: “I do wish that I, you know, felt empowered to say that I’m struggling, that I need help, that I, I would love a little bit of advice.” The fear of being perceived as less capable or of losing one’s position on the team can lead to silence and denial. This stigma, as Ball notes, is “still quite the monster that’s keeping a lot of people silent… keeping the snowball going.” The perception that showing weakness will lead to negative consequences often outweighs the desperate need for support. This is particularly true for athletes, where their livelihood and identity are so intertwined with their physical and mental fortitude.

The Illusion of Connection: Feeling Alone in a Crowd

Despite being surrounded by thousands of cheering fans and a constant entourage of teammates and friends, athletes can experience profound feelings of isolation and loneliness. This paradox is a common theme in the stories of those grappling with mental health challenges and addiction. Montee Ball vividly articulates this feeling: “I can guarantee you that Chris [Farley’s brother] probably shared with you that there are many moments in his life where he had multiple bodies around him that knew him and that were calling him a friend, but he had no idea who they truly were.”

The superficiality of these relationships, often transactional and dependent on the athlete’s performance or status, leaves a deep emotional void. The constant need to “put on this act” and maintain a public persona can prevent genuine connection and vulnerability. The co-host shares a similar experience: “There is nothing scarier than being surrounded by people and feeling like you wanna cry because you’re, I’ve never felt so alone right now.” This intense emotional pain drives individuals to seek solace in external sources, often exacerbating the problem.

The Generational Gap: Learning to Open the Door to Emotions

Montee Ball’s upbringing in a “very wonderful household” with “very stoic” parents highlights a generational pattern in emotional expression. Many individuals, particularly men, grow up in environments where talking about feelings is not actively encouraged or modeled. Ball describes this experience: “No one locked the door, but nobody showed me how to open it. Or told me that it there was an option to open this door.” This lack of emotional literacy can lead to internalization of struggles, making it difficult to process complex emotions and seek help.

This “father playbook,” as one host describes it, often passes down a stoic approach to life that may no longer be applicable in modern society. When individuals are not equipped with the tools to navigate their emotional landscape, they become susceptible to self-sabotage and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Breaking this generational cycle requires conscious effort to create spaces for vulnerability and to teach emotional intelligence.

Hitting Rock Bottom: The Catalyst for Change

For many, the journey to recovery begins with a profound low point, a moment of reckoning that forces a re-evaluation of one’s life. For Montee Ball, this came in February 2016, when he landed in jail after a period of heavy intoxication and unkind behavior towards those around him. The irony of watching the Broncos win the Super Bowl from a jail cell, just months after being released by the team, served as a painful yet powerful catalyst.

“There was so much built up anger,” Ball recalls, reflecting on the experience. While undoubtedly a difficult period, he acknowledges it was “one that I needed for sure.” This moment of profound loss and humiliation forced him to confront the consequences of his actions and the depth of his addiction. It stripped away the last vestiges of his old identity and opened the door to a new path.

The Power of New Beginnings: Fatherhood as a Turning Point

While rock bottom can be a powerful motivator, the sustained commitment to recovery often stems from a deeper sense of purpose. For Montee Ball, the unexpected news of his son’s impending birth, just two weeks after his release from jail, served as a profound turning point. “When he was born, of course it was a, I will never touch this bottle again… He will never experience or ever see a drunk dad.”

This powerful resolve, fueled by the desire to be a present and healthy father, provided a compelling reason to embrace the arduous journey of recovery. While the initial spark came from his son, Ball emphasizes a crucial truth of recovery: “You have to do it for yourself first. You deserve it first more than anyone.” This highlights the dual nature of motivation in recovery: external motivators can initiate the process, but sustained recovery requires an internal commitment to self-worth and healing.

The Work of Recovery: Therapy, Meditation, and Self-Reflection

Recovery is not a passive process; it demands consistent effort and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. Montee Ball fully embraced this commitment, opting for intensive outpatient treatments and individual therapy, accumulating “over a hundred plus hours of therapy.” His journey of self-discovery led him to invaluable tools for managing his impulses and finding inner peace.

One of the key takeaways for Ball was the practice of meditation, not in the stereotypical sense, but as a deliberate act of creating “a space for yourself… to self-reflect.” For someone who described himself as “such an impulsive human being prior to even drinking,” learning to “widen that space before you respond” was transformative. This practice of pausing, reflecting, and choosing a thoughtful response rather than reacting impulsively is a cornerstone of emotional regulation and personal growth.

Therapy, for Ball, was not solely about addressing alcohol use; it was about confronting underlying issues, particularly his “relationship with yourself.” This often overlooked aspect of healing is crucial. While substance use disorder may manifest with outward symptoms, the deeper work involves addressing the emotional and psychological roots of the problem. As one host notes, “You can heal the body from substance use disorder, but to heal the soul… from with the mental health of it, that’s a different animal altogether.”

Breaking Down Barriers: The Need for Diverse Therapists

Montee Ball’s experience highlights a critical disparity in mental healthcare: the lack of black and brown therapists. When he sought professional help, he initially looked for a therapist he could “somewhat relate to on… the cultural aspect” but struggled to find one. This underscores the importance of cultural competence in therapy. Individuals from marginalized communities may face additional hurdles in seeking help due to historical mistrust, cultural norms, and a lack of therapists who understand their unique experiences.

“We need more black therapists, black and brown therapists,” Ball asserts. This call for increased diversity in the mental health profession is vital to ensuring that individuals from all backgrounds feel comfortable and understood when seeking support. When therapists share similar lived experiences, it can foster a deeper sense of trust and facilitate more effective healing.

Redefining Identity and Finding Purpose Beyond the Game

Montee Ball’s journey is a powerful testament to the possibility of redefining identity and finding purpose beyond a singular, celebrated role. His willingness to speak openly about his struggles with alcoholism and mental health, transforming his platform into a force for good, demonstrates a profound shift in priorities. He now travels the country speaking to students, athletes, and communities, advocating for vulnerability, seeking help, and choosing a new path.

This transition from athlete to advocate is not merely a career change; it’s a redefinition of self. The “inner reflection” and “peace” found through therapy and self-work enabled him to “give up one identity to get to the next place.” This new identity is rooted in authenticity, service, and a deeper understanding of self. It exemplifies the transformative power of recovery and the potential for individuals to leverage their past experiences to inspire and uplift others.