Lauren Welch’s 11 Signs That It’s Time to Reevaluate Your Relationship with Alcohol

3. The Unpredictability of Your Body’s Reaction

As Lauren’s drinking progressed, she began to notice a startling inconsistency in how her body reacted to alcohol. She describes a feeling of being “freaked out” by her own behavior. “I could have a glass of wine and be like blackout drunk sometimes,” she shares, “or I could have like several drinks and be up and talking and you wouldn’t know that I drank a lot.” This unpredictability is a serious warning sign. It suggests that your body’s tolerance and response to alcohol have become dysregulated, making it impossible to control the outcome of a single drink. This lack of control is a major characteristic of alcohol use disorder.

This phenomenon of a shifting tolerance is often a sign of increased physiological dependence. As the body adapts to regular alcohol intake, the brain’s chemistry is altered, leading to unpredictable and sometimes dangerous reactions. The simple act of having a drink is no longer a guaranteed outcome; it becomes a gamble with your own behavior and well-being.

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4. When Alcohol Becomes a Daily Craving

For Lauren, the habit became so ingrained that it triggered a psychological response similar to Pavlov’s Bell. The sound of a cork popping or a bottle opening would send a signal to her brain that it was time to drink. “I’m not joking, like the cork like opening, it would send this like response, like the sound of it. It was very weird,” she says. This is a classic example of classical conditioning, where a neutral stimulus (the sound of a cork) becomes associated with a desired outcome (the feeling of drinking alcohol). This craving is not just a passing thought; it’s a part of a daily routine, “like clockwork” that dictates her actions.

This behavioral pattern indicates that alcohol is no longer a choice but a compulsion. The brain has been rewired to anticipate and seek out the substance, making it incredibly difficult to break the cycle without addressing the underlying psychological and physical dependence.

5. Using Alcohol to Numb Traumatic Loss

The most significant event that fueled Lauren’s drinking was a series of personal tragedies that struck her family in quick succession. After opening her new salon suite, she experienced the sudden death of her husband’s brother, followed by her own father’s stroke just two weeks later. This double blow left her feeling overwhelmed and powerless. “I was just so sad and so angry,” she recalls. In the face of such immense grief, alcohol became her primary coping tool—a way to numb the pain and escape the reality of her loss.

While it is natural to seek comfort during a time of grief, turning to alcohol can create a cycle of avoidance and dependence. It prevents the brain from processing emotions in a healthy way and can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety in the long run. Lauren notes, “I was just so depressed and sad and anxious and, you know, you put on like a good face for like your family and your kids and all that kind of stuff. But I felt like I was like crumbling inside.” This external strength, combined with internal turmoil, is a dangerous combination that can lead to isolation and deeper reliance on alcohol.

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6. Arguments Stemming from Alcohol Use

One of the most telling signs of a problem, for Lauren, was the conflict it created in her marriage. Her husband, who is a recovering addict himself, became concerned about her drinking habits. “A lot of our arguments would be stemmed from when I was drinking,” she admits. Alcohol lowered her inhibitions, giving her “liquid courage” to bring up long-held frustrations, which often escalated into arguments.

This is a common issue for couples where one partner is struggling with alcohol use. Alcohol can impair judgment, increase aggression, and lead to communication breakdowns. The partner who is not drinking may feel they are walking on eggshells, while the one who is drinking may feel judged or controlled. This dynamic can erode trust and intimacy over time. Lauren mentions that her husband was “supportive, but stern,” which is an important balance for loved ones to strike. Offering support while also setting firm boundaries can be a crucial step in helping someone acknowledge and address their alcohol use.

7. When Your Defense Mechanisms Are Stronger Than Your Honesty

Despite the obvious signs, Lauren was in a state of denial about her drinking. When she and her husband went to see a therapist, she framed the issue as “He thinks that I drink too much, but I only have a couple glasses of wine.” This attempt to rationalize her behavior and shift the blame is a powerful defense mechanism. The therapist, wisely, did not take a side, instead allowing Lauren to come to her own conclusions.

This illustrates the challenge of addressing alcohol use. The individual must be willing to confront their own denial, which can be a slow and difficult process. Lauren acknowledges this, saying she “was still grasping to like, make other people realize, ‘Yeah, she’s fine.'” This need for external validation, to be told that her behavior was normal and acceptable, was a significant barrier to her recovery.

8. Putting On a Brave Face While “Crumbling Inside”

Lauren’s story is a powerful reminder that addiction doesn’t always look like what we see in movies. She was a successful business owner, a mother, and a wife who appeared to have it all together. However, underneath the surface, she was struggling deeply. “I felt like I was like crumbling of like,” she says. This is often the case with high-functioning alcohol use disorder. People who are able to maintain their jobs, relationships, and responsibilities may not fit the stereotype of an “addict,” which can make it even harder for them to seek help.

The act of “compartmentalizing” life is a common coping strategy. Lauren used her work to distract herself from the grief and stress she was experiencing. While this can be effective in the short term, it prevents true emotional processing. The pressure to appear strong and in control can be immense, especially for women and mothers who are often seen as the emotional anchors of their families. For Lauren, this meant she had to put on a “good face” for everyone, while internally she felt like she was falling apart.

9. The Fear of Being a Burden and Feeling Alone

When asked why she didn’t open up to others about her struggles, Lauren and Brittani both spoke to a common feeling of not wanting to be a burden. “I just felt like how, how? Like, how do I say it? Yeah. And like if I say that something’s wrong, what’s gonna happen?” Lauren shares. This fear of vulnerability can lead to profound isolation. People may feel that their problems are too big for anyone else to handle, so they keep them to themselves.

This sense of isolation is a key factor in the cycle of addiction. When people feel that they have to carry their burdens alone, they are more likely to turn to substances to cope. The shame and stigma associated with addiction can make it feel impossible to reach out for help. However, as Lauren’s story shows, the turning point often comes when you finally admit that you can’t do it alone and start the journey toward healing.

10. The Breaking Point: From “One Week” to a New Way of Life

For Lauren, the epic “meltdown” that became the catalyst for her sober journey didn’t happen in a dark, lonely place. It happened at a “black-tie, very fancy” family wedding where she was a bridesmaid. While holding a glass of wine, she “start screaming and yelling and acting like a total lunatic.” In that moment, she realized she had no one left to blame but herself. This public, undeniable display of her loss of control became her moment of clarity. “I was like, I think I’m gonna not drink for a week,” she remembers telling herself. This small, seemingly manageable goal was the first step toward a complete lifestyle change.

This is a powerful example of what is often called a “rock bottom,” but it’s a personal one. It doesn’t have to be a major catastrophe; it can be an event that forces you to confront the reality of your behavior and its consequences. From that week-long break, Lauren never looked back. Her “sober curious” journey was sparked, and it has since led to the creation of the Sober Curious Society, a community dedicated to exploring all aspects of sobriety.

11. Creating a New Life and Finding Genuine Connections

Today, Lauren is a testament to the fact that a life without alcohol is not a life without fun. She works with younger people who have found creative, sober ways to socialize and connect. “The amount of activities that they all do that don’t involve drinking is so cool,” she says. This is a stark contrast to her own youth, where every activity was centered around drinking.

She emphasizes the importance of building “bonds not based around like substances,” and reflects on her past friendships. “I think I had a million acquaintances, but I don’t know if I could have like, counted on someone to open up to.” Sobriety, for Lauren, has been about replacing those surface-level connections with genuine, meaningful relationships. It’s about finding joy in life’s simple moments and learning to be present, rather than constantly seeking to escape.