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Ben Fisher’s Recovery and Redemption: 11 Ways to Find Your Purpose After Addiction
Sarah holds a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Madison where she was part of a psycho-social research lab. She is the Content Manager and Editor at Recovery.com, creating informational video resources on behavioral health.
Sarah holds a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Madison where she was part of a psycho-social research lab. She is the Content Manager and Editor at Recovery.com, creating informational video resources on behavioral health.
Table of Contents
- 1. The Genesis of a Troubled Connection: Music, Identity, and Early Exposure
- 2. The Illusion of Control: Balancing Dual Lives
- 3. The Progressive Nature of Addiction: From Beer to Opiates
- 4. The Crushing Weight of Secrecy: Hiding in Plain Sight
- 5. The Fall from Grace: Losing Purpose and Community
- 6. The "Rock Bottom" That Changed Everything: His Daughter's Safety
- 7. The First Steps of Recovery: 90 Meetings in 90 Days
- 8. Redefining Higher Power: A Personal Journey of Spirituality
- 9. Finding New Obsessions: The Power of Purposeful Action
- 10. A String of Hope: Connecting Through Vulnerability
- 11. The Ongoing Journey: Life Beyond Addiction
“You know, but some of us need to speak out because too many people are dying. And there’s these, you know, back in the day when AA started, there weren’t these drugs that were killing people first time. Yes. And it’s a scary place. So we need a few soldiers out there that are willing to do this.” – Ben Fisher
The journey of addiction and recovery is deeply personal, often marked by profound challenges and ultimately, immense triumph. For many, the path to sobriety is not just about abstaining from substances, but about rediscovering purpose, rebuilding connections, and transforming past experiences into powerful tools for change. Ben Fisher, the creative force behind “A String of Hope,” embodies this transformation, channeling his own battles with addiction into a platform that resonates with millions seeking mental health and addiction recovery.
1. The Genesis of a Troubled Connection: Music, Identity, and Early Exposure
Ben Fisher’s journey with addiction began at a surprisingly young age, interwoven with his passion for music and the perceived glamour of the rock and roll lifestyle. At just 12 years old, while playing guitar at a family gathering, he was handed a Budweiser by a “drunk uncle.” The experience was immediate and profound. “That wave hit me of, you know, feeling that for the first time at 12. And my 12-year-old brain was like, this is it. This is what I need to feel normal. It was like a switch flipped in me.”
This pivotal moment, however, wasn’t an isolated incident but rather a culmination of earlier influences. At seven, watching Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock, Ben was captivated, feeling a deep connection to the artist’s ability to move people through music. He began to idolize musicians who, despite their artistic brilliance, were also known for their struggles with addiction and alcoholism. This early association between rock stardom and substance abuse became a dangerous blueprint in his young mind. “I idolized them and I’m like, okay. So I have to live that lifestyle if I want to be that person. So I leaned into that at an early age.” This narrative highlights how formative experiences and environmental factors can inadvertently lay the groundwork for future struggles.
2. The Illusion of Control: Balancing Dual Lives
As Ben grew older, his addiction progressed, but so did his ability to compartmentalize. He maintained a starkly contrasting dual life: the party-hardy musician embracing the “rockstar lifestyle” and the dedicated worship leader at his church. “My entire drinking career and drinking and drug career, I was living two different people,” he recounts. “One was the party rockstar lifestyle and the other was the guy playing music at church.”
This ability to hide his struggles, particularly his burgeoning addiction to opiate pain medication, became a defining characteristic of his early adult life. He meticulously concealed his substance use from his girlfriend, who would later become his wife. “She knows nothing about it,” he said of his wife’s unawareness of his opiate addiction. “I was really good at hiding it and I hid it all, all through my life.” This functional addiction, where individuals maintain a semblance of normalcy despite severe substance use, can prolong the denial phase and delay seeking help. The façade of functionality can be incredibly isolating, as the individual carries the immense burden of their secret.
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3. The Progressive Nature of Addiction: From Beer to Opiates
Ben’s story serves as a stark reminder of addiction’s progressive nature. What began with underage drinking escalated significantly in college, where he engaged in heavy pot use and occasional cocaine use. The turning point, however, came after a painful breakup when a coworker introduced him to opiate pain medication. “I tried them and they made me feel better. They made me feel way better.” This moment marked a new and more insidious phase of his addiction, as opiates offered an even more potent escape from emotional discomfort.
His reliance on opiates became so entrenched that he eventually sought Suboxone, initially buying it on the street before obtaining a legitimate prescription. The fear of his then-fiancée discovering his secret prompted a dangerous decision: cold-turkey withdrawal from Suboxone. This decision, made without medical supervision, led to a grueling, month-long withdrawal period that he endured alone, further illustrating the desperate lengths individuals will go to hide their addiction. “If you know anything about that, I know it’s a medication that’s great for helping people get off, but you have to taper down, step down very slowly. I went cold Turkey. It was the worst experience I’ve ever gone through. And nobody knew I was going through it. I went through it alone.” This dangerous self-detoxification further entrenched his alcohol use as a coping mechanism.
4. The Crushing Weight of Secrecy: Hiding in Plain Sight
The emotional toll of leading a double life, particularly from the person he loved most, was immense. Ben’s wife was unaware of his opiate addiction for seven years, even as they fell in love, got engaged, and bought a house. “That’s gotta be heavy on you,” the podcast host observes. “To not only just going through that addiction, but to hide such a huge part of you and what you’re going through from the person that you care so much about.”
The constant vigilance required to maintain this deception, coupled with the escalating demands of his addiction, undoubtedly contributed to his internal suffering. The pressure to maintain a “functional” exterior, even as his internal world crumbled, is a common theme in addiction. This sustained psychological burden can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and a deeper sense of shame.
5. The Fall from Grace: Losing Purpose and Community
A crucial turning point in Ben’s descent was the exposure of his addiction to his church community. His daily ritual of buying and consuming cheap vodka, even while driving, highlights the pervasive nature of his alcohol dependence. The moment of reckoning came when his eight-month pregnant wife found him passed out in his car, a bottle of vodka beside him. Her call to a friend at the church, whose husband was in recovery, ultimately led to Ben being pushed out of his role as worship leader.
“I ended up later in life becoming a worship leader, music director at a church… That broke me in my drinking. Then I was already at blackout stage. So then we were at the point where it’s like treatment, like what are we gonna do here?” This loss of his perceived identity and community, a place where he had found a sense of purpose through music, was devastating. While initially harboring resentment, Ben later recognized the complex dynamics at play, acknowledging that the church, in its vulnerable state, was also trying to protect itself. This incident underscores the profound impact addiction can have on relationships and one’s sense of self-worth.
6. The “Rock Bottom” That Changed Everything: His Daughter’s Safety
Ben’s true rock bottom arrived on Easter Sunday, 2016. After blacking out while caring for his infant daughter the day before, he woke up on his parents’ couch with no recollection of the events. The realization that his addiction had jeopardized his daughter’s safety was the jolt he needed.
“What she told me, just, it absolutely scared the life outta me because again, my daughter is everything to me. I, I love her more than the world. And, um, like I, I get emotional just thinking about it because, you know, something bad could have happened and, and I, if I didn’t go to jail, if something bad happened, I, I can tell you I probably wouldn’t be here ’cause I wouldn’t wanna live after that.” This moment, devoid of grand dramatic consequences like incarceration or near-death experiences, was nonetheless profoundly impactful. It demonstrates that “rock bottom” is subjective and deeply personal; for Ben, the threat to his child’s well-being was enough to trigger a fundamental shift. The immediate consequence of being asked to leave his home until he sought help further solidified his resolve.
7. The First Steps of Recovery: 90 Meetings in 90 Days
With his marriage on the line and the terrifying realization of his actions, Ben committed to recovery. His first concrete step was embracing the “90 meetings in 90 days” approach, a common recommendation in 12-Step programs. Despite his introverted nature, he dedicated himself to attending meetings daily. “I was going to meetings every day. I was sitting there and I never talked at any meetings. Like, you would’ve never seen me doing anything like this.”
This initial immersion in the recovery community, even without active participation in sharing, provided a crucial foundation of support and exposure to the principles of sobriety. It allowed him to absorb the experiences of others, gradually eroding the isolation that had characterized his addiction. This structured approach to early recovery provides consistency and a sense of routine, which can be invaluable in navigating the initial turbulent stages of sobriety.
8. Redefining Higher Power: A Personal Journey of Spirituality
Ben’s past role as a worship leader presented a unique challenge in his recovery journey, particularly concerning the concept of a “higher power” in 12-Step programs. He admitted to holding resentment towards organized religion. However, the flexibility of “God of your understanding” resonated deeply. “I loved how they said God of your understanding. And I latched onto that ’cause I’m like, I don’t understand the God that I have been leading worship too for other people. I don’t understand him right now.”
This willingness to redefine his spiritual beliefs on his own terms allowed him to engage with the spiritual aspect of recovery without feeling constrained by traditional religious dogma. This personal interpretation of a higher power is a cornerstone of many recovery programs, allowing individuals from diverse backgrounds to find a spiritual path that supports their sobriety.
9. Finding New Obsessions: The Power of Purposeful Action
Beyond attending meetings, Ben recognized the vital need to actively engage in something meaningful. He embraced the idea of finding “new addictions” or, more accurately, healthy obsessions. “I gotta, I gotta do something with myself. Yeah. You have to find something to kind of like dive into. That’s a huge part of my recovery story and what I..tell people is like, get busy doing something. Find something you love and do it. Find a new addiction, really obsession.”
This proactive approach to filling the void left by substance use is crucial for sustained recovery. For Ben, this translated into tangible projects, like building a playhouse, which provided a sense of accomplishment and a healthy outlet for his energy.
10. A String of Hope: Connecting Through Vulnerability
Ben’s journey eventually led him to create “A String of Hope,” a platform dedicated to mental health, addiction recovery, and personal growth. This endeavor is a powerful manifestation of his core desire, recognized only in recovery, to connect deeply with others. “I thought when I saw Jimi Hendrix that day, I thought what I wanted to be was a rockstar. And what I really wanted to do is harness what he had to connect to people.”
Through candid storytelling and motivational insights, Ben fosters a community of support and resilience, turning his past struggles into a beacon of hope for others. This act of service, of sharing his vulnerability and insights, has become his ultimate purpose, allowing him to impact millions. “I know now, today with the cute little videos that I do, I’m able to do that… Now I’m realizing like it was never about being a rock star and like performance, it was about connecting to people.” This demonstrates the profound healing that can occur when individuals transform their personal pain into a source of inspiration for others.
11. The Ongoing Journey: Life Beyond Addiction
Ben Fisher’s story is a testament to the transformative power of recovery. His life, now marked by sobriety and purpose, is rich with opportunities to connect and inspire. From a young boy captivated by a rockstar’s image to a man who understands the true meaning of connection, Ben’s journey highlights the continuous process of growth and self-discovery in sobriety. His story underscores the importance of seeking help, even when the path is difficult, and the profound impact that finding a new purpose can have on long-term recovery.
“Here I am today and life is so much better. And I’ve had so many opportunities like this to do.” His ongoing commitment to sharing his story, even as an introverted individual, showcases the strength and conviction that can emerge from overcoming adversity. Recovery is not a destination but a continuous process of self-improvement, resilience, and a commitment to a life lived fully and authentically.
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