Am I Depressed Or Lazy? 10 Expert Answers On The Internet’s Most Searched Depression Questions

Depression is one of those words everyone uses, but not everyone understands. Sometimes it looks like crying in bed. Sometimes it looks like going to work, smiling at meetings, and collapsing on the bathroom floor the second you get home. Sometimes it feels like a heavy blanket, sometimes it feels like moving through mud, and sometimes it’s just a quiet whisper that says, “Go back to bed.”

In this episode of Recoverable, host Terry McGuire sits down with Aja Chavez, a licensed therapist and suicide attempt survivor, for a conversation that cuts through the stereotypes. They talk about the question so many people secretly Google at 2 a.m., “Am I depressed or am I lazy?” They unpack why depression can feel like it shows up “for no reason,” why high-functioning depression can be especially dangerous, and how to spot your personal early warning signs before you slide deeper. Most importantly, they offer language and tools that make depression feel less mysterious and more treatable.

1) What does depression feel like?

Depression isn’t one feeling, it shape-shifts.

Depression is confusing partly because it’s not consistent. Aja describes it as something that evolves over time, it can feel like a warm, heavy weighted blanket, like moving through mud, or like a lingering dark cloud that won’t leave. For her, it even made the world feel “fuzzy,” like she couldn’t fully focus or emerge.

That range matters, because many people dismiss depression when it doesn’t match the stereotype. If you’re not crying nonstop, you might assume you’re not “really” depressed. But this conversation makes a key point, depression doesn’t always announce itself as sadness. It can be numbness, irritability, exhaustion, or hopelessness.

And sometimes, it starts deceptively. Aja shares that in the beginning, depression felt like “a nice friend,” a kind reprieve. It offered relief from feeling too much, like a shutoff switch for overwhelm. That’s one reason it can be hard to let go of, at first, it can feel like protection, until it starts taking away joy, connection, and belonging.

2) Am I depressed or am I lazy?

If rest doesn’t restore you, it’s not laziness.

This is the number one internet question the host brings up, and Aja doesn’t judge it, she relates. She laughs because she asked herself that same thing for years. In her 20s, she watched people leave for work at 7 a.m. and thought, how do they do that, what is wrong with me?

She pushes back on the word “lazy,” not because motivation never matters, but because depression changes how effort feels. With everyday tiredness, rest helps. You step away, recharge, and come back with more capacity. With depression, you can sleep and sleep and still wake up feeling like you have nothing in the tank.

The other trap is shame. Depression often whispers, “You’re lazy, you’re unmotivated, you’re a mess,” because shame keeps you isolated. Aja describes “disagreeing with the internal dialog” by naming what’s happening: “This is a day of deep struggle.” Not to give up, but to stop blaming your character for what may be a medical condition.

Why can I scroll for hours but can’t cook a meal?

This question hits home for a lot of people because it feels like evidence. If you can scroll, you must be fine, right? But depression doesn’t just affect mood, it infiltrates everything: thoughts, physical energy, motivation, and self-worth.

Scrolling can also be a form of checking out. It’s passive, low-effort, and it quiets the mind for a moment. Cooking requires planning, movement, cleanup, and decision-making, all things depression makes feel impossibly heavy. The goal isn’t to shame yourself into action. It’s to recognize the pattern and use it as information: something might be off, and you might need support.

3) What are the signs of depression, and what are my early warning signs?

The most useful “symptom list” is the one that’s personal.

The episode names a frustration many people have. The standard symptom lists can feel too broad: sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little, isolate, lose interest. You can read that list and think, isn’t that everyone sometimes?

Aja gives the clinical framing: a loss of engagement or joy in things that used to matter, changes in sleep and appetite, more isolation. But then she pivots to what’s often more practical, noticing your own internal shift. Depression can show up first in your thoughts and self-care, not always in obvious sadness.

Terry describes it like hearing a train whistle in the distance, that moment where you feel “off” and realize, something is wrong, my depression might be coming. That early moment matters, because it’s often the point where you can intervene before it deepens.

Aja shares her personal warning signs:

• Waking up after a full night of sleep and still not feeling rested
• Hearing the whisper: “Just go back to bed”
• Not wanting to go to things she normally loves, like yoga with people she adores
• Wanting to isolate, even though connection usually refills her
• Losing appetite even while feeling physical hunger

4) Is depression a medical condition, and why does that matter?

Calling it “medical” can save your life.

There’s a moment in the conversation where the host says it plainly: many people still don’t believe depression is a medical condition. Aja is direct here, it’s important to view depression as a medical condition and a mood disorder, while also acknowledging life circumstances and experiences can contribute. It’s an intersection, biology plus lived experience.

Why does that framing matter? Because when people don’t see it as medical, they often treat it like a personality flaw. Or they expect you to “be grateful” and snap out of it. Aja describes how confusing it can be when someone looks at your life and says, “But you have so much to be grateful for,” as if gratitude cancels illness.

Seeing depression as medical also opens the door to real treatment options. Aja says medication can be extremely helpful when someone is in the deep depths of depression. She also shares something many people need to hear: medication “saved my life,” and she would take it again if needed because she isn’t willing to risk her life.

That is not a statement that medication is the only answer. It’s a reminder that depression is treatable, and that getting help is not weakness, it’s healthcare.

5) Is high-functioning depression real, and why can it be so dangerous?

Looking “fine” can hide the biggest risk.

When the host asks if high-functioning depression is real, Aja answers immediately: absolutely. She believes she lived with it, and maybe still does at times. High-functioning depression is when you have all the “shoulds,” the job, the responsibilities, the outward productivity, and still there’s that whisper in the background, a thread connected to a weight you’re dragging.

The danger is visibility. If you show up smiling, do your work, and look put together, people don’t check in. And you may not feel entitled to ask for help because you think you’re supposed to be grateful and okay. Aja calls it “the illness that no one can see,” if you don’t want them to.

She also makes a clinical point that’s easy to miss: with high-functioning depression, the crash can be bigger. It’s not always a slow decline that others can notice and intervene in. Sometimes it’s holding it together, until it suddenly becomes impossible. That’s one reason she emphasizes learning your warning signs and treating depression like an illness, not a moral failing.

Check back next week, 2/12, for part two of our interview with Aja Chavez.